Not Rudolph

A Story by KKlinger

bit of slap in the face horror i guess.

These are the flying reindeer you've heard tell of when you were very young. Mostly associated with the one called Santi Clauss, and they did indeed live in the wintery wood of the North Pole region. They are pretty much extinct these days but the story is worth telling anyway. First of all, I have to explain to you a little bit about magnets. That is, they attract things like, well, iron. And the poles of the earth are like this as well, only different. They attract spirits instead of iron. Means spirits just kinda go there. They can't help it, with no body to keep them grounded and no way to hold on to anything. So it is that they just naturally go to the North Pole. Now the South Pole has the opposite effect and actually aids in this process by pushing them toward the North Pole instead of pulling. These reindeer weren't always spirits though mind you, nor were they always able to fly. In fact, these reindeer were around for a very long time. They were even around way back in the ice age era.

But it wasn't till around 280 AD that this Santi Clauss started a new tradition of delivering presents to good little boys and girls on his sled pulled by reindeer. Now word spread rapidly across the lands and before long poor, old now, Santi Clauss was driven to his grave by obnoxious, ungrateful and rude parents wanting toys and presents for their children as well. These same parents wanting nothing but the best for their precious little angels started giving their little ones presents from Santi Clauss, only they weren't really from Santi Clauss at all. They told their children great big fat lies just to satisfy their own need to see their children's faces light up with joy.

What born of love and generosity soon turned to evil. With each generation more and more lies were taught to their very own children by their parents. Each generation was better liars then the last. Till finally Santa Claus and his eight tiny reindeer lead by Rudolph and his shiny red nose, flew around the whole world in just one night giving gifts to all the boys and girls, good or bad. For lies have a way of growing, and sometimes coming back to bite you in the butt.

Now mommy and daddy are liars, and I wonder what else they have lied about... Easter Bunny? Hmmm Oh, what lies, deceit, and trickery we teach our own children. Shame, shame, on you all. Now the rotting reindeer spirit will eat your souls for harming these little ones. These once precious innocent babes you have polluted with your lies. You will feel the biting cold and icy breath of death curling around you as you make your way to the North Pole to see Santi Clauss.