Part of My Short Story

A Story by Luke Cowan

This is a small part of a short story that I am writing. Any tips would be great. Thanks in advance.

Mary ran faster than she ever had before. Turning down dark alleyways and jumping over discarded item as she went. She could hear the thumping of heavy boots on the ground and the jingle of the guards armour as they ran but the sound was getting fainter by the second, until finally it disappeared completely. Mary smiled, she was going to get away and her nightmare would finally end. Coming out of another alleyway into a bustling street, she halting her run for a second to take in her surroundings. A small entourage of nobles was moving down the road from the city centre, blocking any escape in that direction. Crashes and thuds indicating another brawl in a tavern across the road.

“All too common to the city in these dangerous times.” Pondered Mary.

“There she is!” came a cry from down the street as a tall young man with long brown cascading hair and deeply-tanned skin pointed Mary out to his comrade. The two men started pushing and shoving their way through the crowd towards her. Spotting an alleyway on the opposite side of the road, Mary continued moving with renewed purpose, her knew pursuers where not hampered by any heavy armour and so would be able to move a lot faster than the guards. Pushing people out of the way as she went she entered an alley that was only wide enough for two people to stand abreast. Mary kept her eyes on the ground placing her feet with the uppermost care as she ran. To fall know would be the end of her. Bursting out from the alley she didn't see the burly baker who stood in her way until it was too late. The man’s freshly baked bread flew out of his hand and across the road, as Mary flew straight into him, flinging her to the ground with a resounding thud. The darkness started to flow over Mary until it completely engulfed her, and she descended into the darkness again.

The first guard to the exit the alleyway nearly fell over the limb figure of Mary on the ground. With a wide grin he grabbed the girl and threw her over his shoulder. He started to dream of the riches he would receive from the king when he delivered the fugitive.