Frostbite

First and foremost

I just want to let you know

I am freezing in the snow

My body is covered with ice

I’m almost gone right now

The frostbite is going everywhere

The pain is unbearable

The snow isn't stopping.

I can't decide which hurts worse

The frostbite all over my body

that's been dragged across the dirt

to this unknown area,

Or

The massive hole you left in my chest

the pain of trying to make our love real.

The chance I missed,

The love I lost

What is going to change?

Only you know where I am at

Only you can finally save me.

Only you can change this.

So, I ask you this only once.

Will you please save my life?

Just this once....

 

Reviews

[JulieNorell]

I really liked this write! It reminds me of a movie I saw, though the characters weren't in love, a girl beats a boy until she believes he is dead. Though he really isn't, he comes back as an almost-ghost and only the girl who left him in the middle of the woods can save him.

[Tony]

Because it's winter out I was drawn to the title-- I like your build up to the suddent contrast in the "massive hole you left in my chest" line. You create a strong and profound parallel here. I like how you wove these two concepts together. Evocative write-- Great work!

[Steve]

Very intense and descriptive. I like reading your stuff. I like the emotion and the picture that you draw for your readers. :0)

[Billie Hanzen]

Great poem. :)

[Nothing Personal]

I like the comparison of heart ache and the tremendous ache of freezing in snow. good comparison and then you merged them together. Good job..

[♥ EmeraldHeart &..]

This is such an amzing poem .. LOVED IT !!

[SilentLullabies]

Love can be wonderful and horrible at the same time.... you really captured the pain.

[SpokenWord]

Love can make us feel this way as if it is the end and that only can fix it.
It is my hope that this person can save themself but I understand the feeling here. :)

[Hush Hush]

Beautifully wrtitten poem, has a whole lot of emotions in it.
P.S' Whole you left in my chest...' I think it should be a 'hole in my chest' :)