Here I Am

Here I am.

A lonely wisp of a shadow,

A silent believer of what once was but is no more.

Torn from me protruding as head stones from the ground are all I was.

Joy.

Love.

Peace.

Faith.

But now they

Lie here.

May they rest gently in this frigid earth while

I walk through them wishing to be brought down.

Wishing for hands to grab me and bring me back.

But I only walk through clouds waiting alone

On this cold December night

Thinking over the things that were

But have now died. 

Leaving me here.

Reviews

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

I like several things about this piece. It expresses a feeling of loss, and a feeling of being incomplete in the wake of that loss. I like the fact that you (Center) the text. It provides another layer, enabling the writer to create a shape with words. Sometimes I change the text to accentuate the form that develops. The lines sound sad and lonely, but together they are detached and reserved, as an observer painting a portrait of a widow and a ghost. As all good poetry, the spaces between the words, open doors in the mind of the readers.

[jmhenry]

I love this poem, I imagine you visiting the graveyard of emotions lost and yearned for.
beautiful scenery for this dark poem

keep writing !

mike

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

That is a very interesting and novel perspective of death. Of the person remaining on Earth, but all emotions being buried in a grave. At the same time, very forlorn as there is no purpose in living. Wonderful piece!

[Nadia B.]

Your use of space and lines adds so much to your poem. At times while I read the text of your poem, I see the face of a skull and at other times an exploding mushroom cloud. Not only is your writing apocalyptic, a world coming to an icy end, but your personification makes it feel so real, and so sad. I know this is just my own interpretation, but still, very powerful piece you have written, please keep writing Kana!

[KanaDream]

Thank you for this comment! I actually got really happy while reading it since you went into such detail. >///< Thank you so much!

[Nadia B.]

Every poem is like a treasure map, since you took the time to write and share it, the least I can do is take the time to read and try decipher it. Hope you achieve your dreams Kana! Never stop believing that you will.

[creative Marie]

Very interesting for I am unsure what your poem is untimely about. I always make an effort to write in that direction.

Just like you I am looking for friends to share my ideas and better my writing. I'd like to invite you to my group "working together"

[KanaDream]

I'll join it! And thanks for commenting. I'm glad you found this work interesting and mysterious as I was hoping for that feeling. Thanks ^^

[alf]

Hi KanaDream. What a beautiful write!!! There are layers in this poem that are open to a number of interpretation. One of my most favourite types of poetry!! Thank you for sharing these thoughts, alf