Pain (Part Deux)

This pain is for you
Many things I believe for you is pain
I dont want any pain from you but I accepted your pain
I'll take the pain from you forever

Pain can be your own mistake
pain can lead to your own troubles
pain can lead to anything inside of you
you just need to get some help
you need some assistances to get you out of the pain

Many pains cannot be removed
many can stay forever and ever
many think pain isnt nothing for them
pain is everything you learn from outside world

you may get it someday
someday you will see what I learn from pain
you can see me with cuts on my arms
that was pain, everything I want is pain

Love is pain too you know
you left me alone in the outside world
pain is getting inside of me, not letting me go
I'm alone in the darkness of shadows

This pain is for you
Many things I believe for you is pain
I dont want any pain from you but I accepted your pain
I'll take the pain from you forever

This pain is everything painful has it is
ready for everything is to be done for you
I'll be ready for everyone's pain
Every shadows of darkness is there inside of me
tearing me apart to learn from you and the people

So I'll take everyone's pain away
so you can tell me about your pain and
forever pure

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

Nice rhythm and structure, very solid and fluent. The constant repetition of "pain" makes this poem very hard-hitting and insistent, just as pain itself is. The style reflects physical pain, but yet the content mainly relates to emotional pain, a good strong parallel which ensures the reader is engaged. Disciplined structure. Interesting philosophy here as well. Does pain really originate from others, or is it always really from ourselves? How do we really affect others when we share our pain with them? Is it possible to live, to love, to win, to lose, without inflicting pain on others? Does pain isolate us from life, or take us more deeply into it? Does pain bond us as humans, or push us apart? Many questions raised. Good, thoughtful writing.