Pieces

The path is littered with pieces of me…

Of you…

Us.

Trampled

Smashed

Thrown against the wall.

Shattered dreams.

Broken wills.

 

Our blood is oozing from lacerations…

Buried deep…

Scars.

Wounded

Howling

Branded into our skin.

Roasted flesh.

Peeling layers.

 

We’re fighting to the last breath…

Claws bared…

Wicked.

Slicing

Tearing

Screaming banshee whoops.

Piercing eyes.

Shredding hearts.

 

Whimpers eke from drooping lips…

Sighs cried…

Tender.

Cradled

Loving

Delicious slumber.

Author's Note

Feel free

Image - LUIS ARROYO

Reviews

[Inyourshadow]

The last stanza kind of gives this piece a sensual feel with the whispers eke from drooping lips and the last line delicious slumber. Sorry but I often read too deep lol. Loved the imagery of the entire piece, such depth and perception of actions and reactions. Keep em' coming

[Larry Dyson]

yes I love his art as well...images of defiance I think...

[David Michael]

Wow..... I love the structure, how true you stayed to it, and yet how well it flowed without intruding; subtly brilliant! It frees the words to express to their fullest, which doesn't always happen in poetry. I've seen a lot of comments on your wording, but honestly, I've seen similar wording in other poems that didn't work half this well. It's the rhythm. And the story! Such a transformation from first stanza to last stanza, and yet maybe not a transformation at all. Perhaps a misunderstanding from the observer's perspective. This allows a multi-layered interpretation not always possible - the comments attest to that. Amazing write; thanks for sharing! I will refer people to this poem when trying to explain good poetry ;)

[Legacy]

Kat Collins,

Have you entered this into the Dark Secrets Contest? Every piece requires a home; I feel it is there at Poetic Infusion Society.

'Tis a whirlwind of raw emotion and pain - this is beauty uncovered in minimal wordage. How can one speak so briefly of their pain in its entirety, with so few conjunctions and spare words?

This is amazing, I feel sucked into your whirlwind as you keep going, with such momentum it is hard to fight back and escape without getting sucked back in.

Your feat is over, your bio spoken, no need to tell you anymore what you made me feel. However, there is something I would like to say - congratulations.

Thank you for sharing,

Legacy

[Tkess]

There is a wonderful flow to this piece. I can almost guess the word that will come next. Very nice write.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Oh my goodness, I have lived in this type of relationship before and it is horrible.........well penned.

[KAREN]

Great word choice, and the poem is very intense. Love this style of writing.

[Steph K]

I like the effortless use of single word lines in this piece. The short lines portray so much like stacatto beats in a well woven song. Beautiful

[FemmeSpookyCorpse]

Ooooh...there's something incredibly decadent about this piece! I think your word choice is fantastic, a little bit dark (which I sincerely don't mind...I love dark writing immensely), and raw. Great work! = ]

-Femme_Gothique (Brittany)

[Jeremy Baker]

I can't tell if this is a little kinky or if I've misread it entirely! One thing is for sure: I enjoyed reading your poem immensely!