Loving discretely

Loving discretely

A Poem by K.

Denial and carelessness

the thin masks we wear

Spiraling visions

Of moments we share


A friendship blurred

The lines were crossed

Neither one budges

In fear of the loss


Doused in the turmoil

Agonizingly infectious

Feigning disinterest

But secretly jealous


I don’t want you

You don’t want me


And yet here we are

both loving discretely 

© 2013 K.

Author's Note


would love suggestions.
review review review

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register

Featured Review

I like how you talk about masks to start this poem. Using that image helps tell the reader that these two people have another identity that they are concealing. Seeing these relationships develop, seeing them slowly unveil themselves, often becomes a theatrical performance.

I have a few minor suggestions that I'll offer for your consideration. Using the word doused in the first line of the third stanza does provide a feel for how the stress of the situation envelopes both people. I think you could substitute that word for another that reinforces the idea of concealment to go along with the theme that you establish with the masks in the first stanza. The word doused sets up the idea of being covered, but not necessarily concealed.

I also think you could make the last two couplets one quatrain. I think that those lines could all go together as far as the overall idea of the piece is concerned.

I hope that those suggestions are helpful. I enjoyed reading this one.

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Gorgeous piece, is this about mutual crush, you and someone else didn't acknowledge?

Posted 10 Years Ago

Described well and the story within too, very good for a quick write

Posted 10 Years Ago

A lot of people now a days are trapped within this particular predicament. A very well written and articulate poem. Great work. A riveting write and read. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago

This was a wonderful poem with a full story told. I've only one question: If such an opportunity exists for that potential happiness, why keep discreet when both parties desire to give it a shot? After all, it may prove worth it in the end. Excellent piece of writing Kate, I enjoyed it.

Posted 10 Years Ago

Very nice,GRAIT FLOW!! and loved the word really a grait piece of art :)

Posted 10 Years Ago

It may have been quick, but I like it just as it is. It tells a complete story, and flowed very well!

Posted 10 Years Ago

next Next Page
last Last Page
Share This
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


27 Reviews
Added on July 16, 2013
Last Updated on August 22, 2013




a senior in college studying to be a social worker. Some day I will change the world. more..

Fire Fire

A Poem by K.

Open it Open it

A Poem by K.

Wind Wind

A Poem by K.

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..

rain rain

A Poem by K.