We Are

We are toxic,

You and I.

One sip

From this bottle,

and we may die.

 

We spell out danger,

When put together.

If we

Are set free,

Who knows what may happen.

 

We are a rose,

And unseen thorns surround us.

We are only beauty,

To an unsuspecting victim.

 

We are,

The last drops of poison.

We are,

Mass destruction.

We are protected by pain.

We are,

True love,

Yet we are deadly.

Author's Note

What do you think. Please ignore my spelling mistakes.

Reviews

[JudyC]

You use metaphors very well here: plenty of images and descriptions illustrate your statement. I especially like "We are only beauty, to an unsuspecting victim". The poem has a good structure and flow, which keeps the reader wanting to read more. Good job.

[babygirl hernandez]

makayla you are a wonderful writer. an i have to say this, your poem seems alot like u an me. we hav so many enemies. but remember we are better then them all. because we dont threatin ppl to make ourselves feel better

[Tenten]

It's simple and the flow is nice, a bit choppy in moment like your searching for the right words, you have good word selectin thought, i know confusing. the opening lines add and effect of pertainting to the world, its beauty without a doubt. nicely done, beautiful piece.

[Gordon]

I like the simplicity of it though I wasn't able to wrap my mind around the metaphor you're trying to create... (if there is one there) It just seemed to me like some parts of it contradicted other parts.

We are toxic... We are danger... we are a rose... the last drops of poison... True love, but we're deadly.

So I guess you are saying true love is toxic, dangerous, beautiful yet poisonous and deadly. To me it would make more sense to say at the end that "it's all worth it". Love is all those things but you'd drink of them again in a heartbeat. That would be more symmetrical with the way people are when it comes to love.

Keep the pen moving and the dream alive... keep it up. You're onto something!