Evil Angel's Influence

First entry in a new journal I got for Christmas in '09. Felt like there was something watching me, telling me to self-harm. I didn't do it. Instead I wrote this and told it it wasn't...see below...

Author's Note:

First entry in a new journal I got for Christmas in '09. Felt like there was something watching me, telling me to self-harm. I didn't do it. Instead I wrote this and told it it wasn't welcome there in my room. It never left but I could still hear it whispering...it didn't leave till morning...it did say that "Evil said I would be an easy target and that maybe I should just leave now and find other easy target for boss," it creeped me right the f**k out...so...yeah...this is my experience from that night.

Evil Angel's Influence

What's going on?
Why can't I stop thinking
About cutting?
Why can't I stop imagining
Slicing my legs and arms
Chest and stomach
Why are there images
Images of blood running down my skin
As I slice away at my body?
They fill my head
And wont seem to leave

  But even though my mind is clouded
With these horrid, repulsive images
A part of me is still able o sense
The Light and Dark,
Good and Evil,
Auras around me.
  The Aura around me is of a fallen good,
Turned to do Evil’s work.
It is an Evil Angel…
  So I ask aloud,
As the images grow darker, more gruesome,
“Is that you,
Evil Angel?
Are you the one
Causing this suffering I feel?
This pain?”
  A sillhoete
Of a young girl
Appears before me.
She looks just like me,
And yet not,
She has a scar
In the shape of a crescent moon,
On the left side of her face, upon her pale cheek.
It is indescribable to me…
It reminds me
Of somebody…but it couldn’t be…

  The young girl, that Evil Angel,
Points to me and speaks,
In a low, melodic voice
That Hypnotizes me.
“Evil said you were easy target,”
The Evil Angel says to me,
“You suffered loss and false hope of Love…
But you not easy at all…”
She growls to me.
“I tell Evil you too hard. I leave you in peace now.”

  Instantly the images and urges stop
And the sillhoette of the young, Evil Angel, disappears
Into a whisp of smoke,
With the chilling wind, that has suddenly filled my room.

  I might not have known
Who that little girl was-
Although my mind whirls with possibilities-
But I do know one thing,
That young girl I saw,
Is no Evil Angel…

-Kayla Gentry
July 6th, 1992- Present
Date: September 23rd, 2009