Monsters

Monsters

A Poem by Kaylie

Like a jagged and rusty blade
It will infect you
Sorrow with a dash of mournful regret
Each wave of heartbreak hits harder than before
Like glass, once broken it will never be the same
Though you'll continue to try to put the pieces together
All that will come is cuts and pricks from the shards of your heart
Even with sliced up hands you won't give up
Band-aids can't fix everything
You can sew, stitch, glue or tape but the end result remains the same
Like the raging fire takes over the forest
It will consume you
Swallow every ounce of your happiness, pride, and self worth
It will lick its fingers and burp with delight
There are only two options
You can either lay down on a sliver platter
Feed the monster that is consuming your soul
And you can allow the infection to spread, paralyzing you
Or you can choose to fight back
Take the pain with pride, and allow your body to heal
Find your antidote
No damage can be undone
Appreciate your unique heart
Do not regret your past, embrace your future
The blade will cut and the infection will sting
Instead of focusing on the pain, focus on the healing
A positive mind will result in positive outcomes
Be your own prince charming, save yourself

© 2013 Kaylie


Author's Note

Kaylie
I'm completely new at writing in a more formal sense. Please be helpful,not hurtful, but give the most effective criticism you can, thank you.

My Review

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Featured Review

I'm not really a poet. I only have two poems on here that I wrote long ago and neither of them are that good. I'm more of a story writer than a poet...but I'll give it a shot.

You express your emotions very well in this piece. There's no hidden meaning which is why many people don't like poetry...I like that.

As far as the mechanics of writing go, you pretty much got that down. There's nothing major to point out here.

It sounds like a pep talk that I would give someone.

Now, as to why I chose to read this piece. The primary reason I chose to read this is the title "Monsters". I write primarily horror stories (some science fiction and fantasy, but mostly horror). Naturally "Monsters" seemed like the perfect fit:)

Overall you're doing pretty well. Thanks for sharing this piece. I really enjoyed it!

-CW

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kaylie

10 Years Ago

I really appreciate your thoughtful feedback! I can't wait to read more of your writing as well :)



Reviews

This is great! I love the line "all that will come is cuts and pricks from the shards of your heart" awesome job it was a pleasure to read!:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


A good read. How you describe the situation you speak of, specifically, is very nice.

Posted 10 Years Ago


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MAC
love the concept of this one and the layout of it. great title and you deliver the goods to go with it. excellent write

Posted 10 Years Ago


I do like this, it's got a sense of, uplifting yourself, as you take control. It's well constructed, good work.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I really liked the piece. I love the message it sends, we all need to be reminded to think positively. Even in our darkest hours. So thanks for sharing it with us, it's lovely.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I'm not really a poet. I only have two poems on here that I wrote long ago and neither of them are that good. I'm more of a story writer than a poet...but I'll give it a shot.

You express your emotions very well in this piece. There's no hidden meaning which is why many people don't like poetry...I like that.

As far as the mechanics of writing go, you pretty much got that down. There's nothing major to point out here.

It sounds like a pep talk that I would give someone.

Now, as to why I chose to read this piece. The primary reason I chose to read this is the title "Monsters". I write primarily horror stories (some science fiction and fantasy, but mostly horror). Naturally "Monsters" seemed like the perfect fit:)

Overall you're doing pretty well. Thanks for sharing this piece. I really enjoyed it!

-CW

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kaylie

10 Years Ago

I really appreciate your thoughtful feedback! I can't wait to read more of your writing as well :)
For being new you express your thoughts "formally" you seem to be doing well. I don't think I can pick one line I like the most.. everything is constructed beautifully.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ah, how we all adore those monsters that roam free in the landscape of ones mind, well done, good read.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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281 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 15, 2013
Last Updated on December 15, 2013
Tags: broken heart, love, missing, LDR, distance

Author

Kaylie
Kaylie

South Portland, ME



About
Hello everyone! I am Kaylie, and I'm currently in the process of figuring out who I am, what I want, and how I want my life to be. I'm a very kind soul, an open person. I survive in this world with te.. more..

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