Love Burns

I've been working on this particular story for years. I'm not sure how to edit it to improve it. It's one of my pieces I've considered expanding on and changing the ending. Thoughts?

The ride there was long and excruciatingly boring; I had my playlist on shuffle the entire time, for what seemed like an eternity. My dad isn't really one for conversation, so I just sat silently. I was leaving New York, also known as my home. I had lived there for my seventeen years of existence, and this was going to be very different. I have to admit, I was a little more than extremely nervous. I was only going into my junior year of high school, and all the people at my new school must have known each other since kindergarten at least. Not that I really cared what people thought of me, but I'm human. I wanted to be able to at least slightly get along with someone.

The unfamiliar air seemed to slap me in the face. The wind sent shivers up and down my spine while blowing the crisp brown leaves off their branches. Tomorrow would be my first day at New England Prep, my new school. My stomach churned at the thought of being in a swarm of unrecognizable faces. As my father drove up the rocky gravel driveway, my nervousness died down. I took my earbuds out of my ears and stuck my ipod back in to my vibrant yellow skinny jeans. There must be someone I will get along with. My dad interrupted my day dream with an abrupt,

“What do you think Sky?” I looked up at the large house. Chipped paint, large windows,way to big for two people. In response to his question, I responded,

“You did really good dad, I like it.” My dog Walnut, a golden retriever who we got a few months back, trampled over my converse and ran up the porch stairs to the door of the house, scratching frantically. My dad opened the door and I put my cat Muffins down, she and Walnut ran down the hallways.

I made my way to my room and plugged in my alarm clock and radio. Putting my Black Veil Brides cd in the radio, I laid down on my bed and analyzed my new room. My dad had already brought my dresser and bookshelf in the house and set them up. My room was finished by the time I had gotten there. I started to think. I have an issue, of over thinking things. Once the cd ended, I started to go through my room and to reorganize it. I had to find all of the things I would need for tomorrow. Scavenging through my things, I came across a crumpled photo of my mother. It was in pretty bad shape, but it brought back so many memories. The tears began to swell up. I slowly hung up the photo with a single tack above my headboard, and laid my head down on the pillow. With my I-pod blasting in my ears I let the tears fall freely and sobbed myself to sleep, listening to music that matched my mood.

I woke up to my alarm buzzing at the foot of my bed. I got up, shut It off and went straight to my bathroom. Stripping my clothes off I stepped in to the shower.The hot water turned on and started running through my long black hair and dripping down my body. The heat felt good and it relaxed me, but I could still feel a slight sting on my back. Though months had passed, the touch of anything, even as delicate as water hurt my fragile back. After washing my hair and body I stepped out of the shower and dried off. As I blow dried my hair, I paused to evaluate myself.

I stared into my own sky blue eyes and tried to see more of me than what the outside showed. I knew that I would have to know myself, that I am more than a pale “emo” boy who wore skinny jeans and band tee's. What is “emo” anyway? I mean, I only see it as a three letter word, but others see it to be more than that. Many look at that work as a way to describe anything and everything about a person. But they are wrong.

Most do not realize a persons true potential, they only pay attention to their outer appearance. Who cares if I have snake bites and black hair? What is wrong with the fact that I have bangs that sweep across my face? Stepping in to a stereotypical persons' eyes is the hardest thing to do. For me, I see us all as equals, not matter the style, race, sexuality or views of a single person.

I do not understand why people judge me so easily without getting to know me. If anything, I prayed that this school was different than the others. That it would see me as Skylar Zenner, not just some new kid. I slipped on my purple skinnies, fall out boy tee, and converse. I had no books to put in to my school bag, so I grabbed a novel, put it in my bag, and trudged out the door to my bus stop.

My music was blaring in my ears as I sat and waited for the bus to arrive. Only a few kids were at the same stop as I, but as expected they just stared and whispered to each other. Finally, the bus arrived. I stepped on to it, and paused. There, at the back of the bus I saw the most gorgeous thing. I could see her vibrant green eyes, all the way from the front of the bus. Her black and blue hair, stood out from all the other normal, bland, hairstyles. She looked out the window and gazed at what seemed to be nothing.

I walked down the isle, to the seat that she was in. I greeted her with a warm smile, and then, I simply said,

“would you mind if I sat here?” She seemed to be rather quiet, and also showing a look on puzzlement on her face. But then, she said the four words that defined that year for me.

“Sure, I don't mind.” I set my bag on my lap, and waited for her to say something. At the time, I could not explain it, but I felt sparks the moment I first locked eyes with her. Since she was clearly not going to start a conversation, I decided that I would.

“I'm Skylar Zenner, it's a pleasure to meet you, I just moved here from New York, New York.” She turned to face be and then began to smile. Her smile was brighter than the stars, on a dark night. Her nose ring complimented her facial structure, a little stud that seemed to go there perfectly. She was wearing a minnie mouse graphic tee, and a black and red tutu. To put it rather frank, she looked gorgeous. She then said, in a voice as beautiful as she,

“I'm Violet Johnson, the pleasure is all mine.” She then turned away, and continued staring out the window. The rest of the bus ride was silent. I was still attempting to comprehend who I was sitting next to. Her voice was soft and light, very delicate indeed. Finally we arrived at the high school.

I went on to my homeroom, praying that possibly she would be in it. No such luck. The day was long and dreadful, I was about to go to my final block, and so far, no classes with Violet. Not a single other student had talked to me yet, and if they had, I wouldn't have cared. She had been on my mind all day. I walked in to my English class, and there she was.

There was a seat right next to her, and I was not going to let that opportunity go to waste. I walked over. I sat in the creaking old desk and she turned her head towards me.

“Hey Skylar, nice seeing you here.” She said, with that same warm smile I remembered from the beginning of the day. Just as I was about to respond, Mr.Mitchell, the english teacher walked in and introduced himself to the class. I was absolutely furious. Every time we were about to talk, someone or something interrupted us. Though english is my favorite class by far, I wasn't going to wait any longer to talk to her. With that being said, I took a piece of scrap paper, and wrote her a note. It said;

Hey Violet,

I was just wondering, would you like to hang out after school today?

If so; meet me at the Dunkin' Donuts right outside of school at 1:50 :]

xx-Skylar

I slipped her the note and to my relief she nodded. The class dragged on as Mr.Mitchell continuously talked about “Classic Literature”. Finally, 1:35 arrived, and the school bell rang. I bolted out of the classroom and scurried to Dunkin' Donuts. I bought my usual, medium french vanilla coffee, extra cream, extra sugar, and took a seat. She walked in at exactly 1:50.

“Well someone is extremely punctual I see, I like that in a girl!” I laughed.

“Quite the flirt you are Mr.Zenner, and yes I am very punctual, is that a bad thing?”

“No, not at all, and a flirt? Who? Not me, couldn't be!” I was unable to wipe off the extreme grin off my face.

“Would you like a coffee, beautiful?” I was trying to act calm, but my heart was racing a million miles a minute. However, I seemed to be entertaining her, which was a good thing.

“Someone seems to be in a very good mood today, and yes, I would enjoy a coffee, thank you for asking, a medium hazelnut ice coffee please.”

“Be right back.' I said, and without hesitation I got up and ordered her drink. When I came back, she thanked me for the coffee and then began to ask me many questions.

“So, Skylar, why did you move to Maine? I mean, New York, wow, I would love to live there.” I knew the reason I moved here. I was reminded every time I looked in the mirror, every time I took a shower.

“Well, see there was a few incidents that happened, its kind of a long story.” I wanted to tell her, I never had talked to anyone about what had happened to me, but Violet seemed, well different.

“Well you know, I have plenty of time, and if it just so happens that you don't have enough time to tell me today, we just might have to make another date, right?” Was she flirting with me?

“Fine then, I will tell you.” And then I told her.

“It was me, my mom and my dad. We lived in an apartment building, the 14th story. It was a thursday, me and my dad went out to dinner at friendlys like we always did once a week. My mom was sick, so she went to bed with some candles going in the other room. I know, I know, it sounds dumb, but my mom was an extreme energy saving kind of person. So, whenever she went to bed she lit a few candles to make the house smell good, and so me and my dad didn't walk in to the dark.

It was around 8:50pm when we finally arrived home. Our apartment building was surrounded by an abundant amount of fire trucks and police cars. All my neighbors were outside, and safe, except my mom. Frantically, I began looking for her. When I couldn't find her, I got that gut wrenching feeling that something was wrong. So, following my instinct I ran up to a fireman and asked

' Do you know where this fire started?' He told me, and of course. It had started on the 14th floor. At that point, I was shaking with fear, and I dashed in to the apartment building. It was a 27 story building, and from the 14th and up was in flames. I had policemen and firemen screaming at me to stop, but I didn't care. I made my way up to my apartment, dodging flames and trying to breathe. Breathing was rather difficult, considering how much smoke there was. I ran in to my moms room, and found her in an isolated corner, coughing. My mother was extremely tiny, only standing at 4'9” and weighing only one hundred and ten pounds. I held her close to my chest and ran downstairs.

On my way down, my shirt had caught on fire. I had to many things going through my head, and all I could focus on was getting my mother out of there. I made my way out the door and was met by at least a dozen paramedics. Then, I fainted. The next thing that I remembered, I woke up to my father sobbing next to my hospital bed in the intensive care unit. I struggled to even open my eyes, but I asked where my mom was, and if she was okay. My dad just held my hand and continued crying.

I woke up the next time, from what I was told three days later. My back was awfully burned, and I was notified that my mother passed away. After that, I just broke. Once I got out of the hospital and my back was somewhat recovered, I told my dad that I would be unable to go back to that apartment. So, we moved a few blocks away and lived with my grandmother until my dad got enough money to get us up here. I always wanted to live in Maine, to maybe be at peace. So now, here I am.” When I had finished my story, she got up from her seat, and hugged me so tightly I could barely breath. It was amazing. I pulled her on to my lap and continued hugging her.

“Thats so terrible! Im sorry you had to go through that, I'm always here if you need someone.” She was so close to me, and it felt so right with her in my arms. I kissed her, and it was perfect. Then, she went back to hugging me. I didn't want to get kicked out of Dunkin' Donuts, so I took her hand and we went on a walk. I felt completely on top of the world. Before I knew it, It was 5:00 and my dad was expecting me home. So I gave her a goodbye kiss and progressed home.

Six months had passed since I had moved to Maine, since that day. It was now March, and a light layer snow layed like a blanket on the ground. It was coming around to Violet and I's six month anniversary. I walked the half a mile to Violets house to surprise her. When I got there, she was sitting on her front porch with her hands on her face. I rushed over to her, curious to what was wrong.

“Violet, are you okay?” I asked, holding her. I could feel the tears on my chest as the fell from her beautiful face. She attempted to talk to me, but all that came out was a few mumbles and more tears. Seeing her, the girl I could have sworn I was in love with broken like that, and me being unable to help her was unbearable. Finally, an hour later, she calmed down enough to talk normally.

“I'm sorry Skylar.” That was the first thing that she said.

“Sorry for what, crying? Baby its fine, just explain what happened.”

“Myself.” Was her response. Great, one word answers I thought.

“You want to elaborate on that darling?” I was confused. That was such a vague word.

“You know, Skylar. Don't play dumb. I have been thinking. Who are we fooling? This relationship is never going to last. I lie to you, I make you feel bad, I am just awful. You deserve someone so much better than me, and you know it. So why are we still trying? Six months, I have been trying so hard to be happy, and be around you, it is so difficult. I love you, but this just isn't who I am. The first day I saw you, you made my world Skylar. You are so outgoing, you sat next to me, and you took a risk. I am just tired of making you so unhappy. I know how much it upsets you when I am sad, but I just can't help it. I want your happiness more than anything.” I was speechless. The girl, who I thought was so happy, was telling me she was so unhappy? I knew that she had depression issues, ever since her brother died, she hadn't been the same. That was four months ago.

We had only been together two months at the time, but I didn't leave her side. I was there every day, I stayed the night, and held her close. I thought that with me, and the counseling that she was over it. Apparently I had been wrong, was she really that unhappy?

“Violet, what has gotten in to you? You know I love you, you know that when you are unhappy, I try hard to make you happy. You know why don't you? I try so hard, because your happiness is what gets me through the day. Without you, I don't know what I would do. Don't ever think you make me unhappy darling, you are my complete world.” I was trying my absolute best to explain my feelings to her, but how could I? She was just too perfect to me.

“Do you even know how much I love you, Violet?” I don't think she ever did. No matter how much I explained to her I loved her, she never truly understood how serious I was.

“Skylar, I know you love me, but I just don't want to hurt you.” What was she saying? Was she breaking up with me? That day had been the most vivid memory I could remember in our entire relationship. The hurt in her eyes, it pierced my soul.

“Violet..” She didn't let me finish. She hugged me, gave me a kiss on the forehead, and walked inside. Right before she left, more tears swelled from her face. The last thing she said to me, was, 'It is over Skylar.' When she walked in to that house, she took a part of me with her. It began raining, downpouring to be exact. I slowly trudged home, confused, and broken. I had three million things running my mind, but the main thing I was asking myself, was just, why? That night I cried myself to sleep, listening to my I-pod and trying to comprehend the events of that day.

I was awakened at three in the morning, my phone was going off like crazy. I was extremely groggy, and without looking at the caller I.D I answered the phone.

“Hello, Is this Skylar?!?” An alarmed voice asked. I knew who it was, how couldn't I, I had heard that voice almost every day for the past six months.

“Mrs. Johnson, is that you? Whats going on?” It was Violets mom, she was hyperventilating, she never called me. Once I realized who it was I was extremely alert.

“It.. its V-v-violet.. c-c-can you come over, please?” Just like that, I was out of the house and sprinting to Violets house. Five minutes later, I was there. There were ambulances and police cars surrounding the house. I rushed over to Mrs.Johnson. Soon enough I was in a panic.

“Mrs. Johnson, what happened? Wheres Violet! Is she okay?” I was so out of breath, but I couldn't get my mind off of her. The look that her mother gave me, filled my body with sorrow. I felt like lead, everything was heavy, I couldn't move.

“Skylar...its Violet.. she... she..” Her mother was interrupted by two paramedics on their way out of the house, with someone on a stretcher, covered over. I bolted over and ripped the sheet off.

That is when I lost it. I never have felt as shattered as I did that moment. Under that snow white sheet, was the love of my life, Violet. My knees collapsed, and before I knew it, I was shaking and crying on the ground. Mrs. Johnson came over, helped me up, and brought me inside. We then both just hugged each other, and cried. I was physically drained. I had no more tears to cry, and no more screams to scream. Then, I slept. I don't know how long I slept, but it felt forever. But what was forever without her.When I woke up, Mrs.Johnson handed me a letter, shaking. On the front of it, was my name scribbled. It was her handwriting. I stuffed it in my pocket, thanked Mrs.Johnson for letting me stay the night and made my way home. I was unstable, that was for sure. But I couldn't wait to get home because I needed to open that letter.

It took for what felt like a millennium for me to manage my way to my house. I was still hysterical. I thought that I had no more tears to cry, I was wrong. I burst in to my house with wet eyes and a tear stained face. No one was home, so I ran up to my room and opened the letter that my beloved had written me.

Dear Skylar,

It brings me great sorrow that I am writing you this letter. If you are reading this, that means that I am probably no longer on this earth. Millions of things are more than likely crossing your mind, but I assure you, I didn't leave this earth without good reason. It broke my heart yesterday when I lied straight to your face, saying we are not good together. That was a lie, we were perfect, and I have and always will love you. Let me explain.

Do you remember last month? How I was awfully sick, and was booked in doctors appointments? Well I was sent to an Oncologist, because my doctor thought, yes the unthinkable, I had cancer. We didn't know what had caused it, but all I knew, was that it was progressing rapidly. The first thing that went through my mind when I found out, was you. I was told that if I had any chance of survival, I would have had to go through many times of chemo therapy.

Can you imagine seeing me like that? Bald and sick. Losing all my hair would have been bad enough, but you being forced to see me so ill the touch of even your soft touch would harm me, was unthinkable. You see, if the chemo didn't work, I was told I only had six months to live. What if it had happened to been on our one year anniversary? You would be even more hysterical then you may be at the moment reading this letter. I know, I know, that you think I am crazy. Do not doubt my judgement Skylar, I have known you long enough. We were like one. I know that you are probably thinking, that you don't care what I look like, and you don't care how sick I was, and that you would be there for me.

See, I just didn't want you to have to do that. I didn't want you to have to see me suffer, I know that you would rather me be in heaven happy, then on earth suffering. Also, if the treatment didn't work, and I was told that I was going to die, I feared that you wouldn't be able to handle it. That would have been another six months of our love, but I wouldn't be the fun and loving Violet that you knew.

Whether or not my reasons make sense to you, I am not sure. However, you really need to understand that I love you. I will wait for you in heaven. I will wait for you, and one day, when you are old and gray, you will be with me. We will see eachother again. I promise. I apologize for making this letter, and choosing to do this, but as the love of my life, you really must understand that the thought of you seeing me that ill would break me. If the cancer didn't kill me, the look in your eyes would. I would see the hurt in your eyes whenever you would see me.

Now I really must put this letter to an end, but just always remember that I love you. I always will, and I will watch over you. One day, we will be together again, I promise. Stay strong baby, and always know someone is watching over you

Forever Yours,

Violet Johnson.

P.S

Please, respect my last wish and do not show this letter to anyone. My mother would never be able to handle it. I am with my brother now, and I hope she understands as well. Help her through this Skylar, you are so much stronger than her, I love her, but I am unsure how she would react to the news. I love you.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. My beautiful Violet, was dead. She had killed herself, because she had been diagnosed with cancer. So many questions and emotions were running through me. Why did she do this to me? Why didn't she fight? Why did she have to have cancer in the first place? These were questions that would burn a hole in my brain, yet would never be answered.

I called for my father. No answer. I couldn't even hear the pitter patter of Muffins' feet, or the soft sound of Walnuts' breath. My house was dead silent. I went to my bathroom and I did the unthinkable.

There, I took three bottles of Tylenol, and half a bottle of sleeping pills. I swallowed them fast. Two at a time, but very fast. It took me only around ten minutes. Afraid that it wouldn't bring me to my Violet, I proceeded downstairs and rummaged through the kitchen cabinets. There it was. A new bottle of rum my dad had bought for a party he was going to be having. Then, the thought of my dad came up. What would he do? I couldn't stop though. I was too far, I had to finish what I started. In complete honesty, words do not describe the pain that I was feeling from the loss of the love of my life. I just wanted to be with her again. Then, I poured myself a glass of straight rum, and began drinking.

I don't remember much more of that moment. I remember one second, the bottle was full, and then, there wasn't a drop left. Warmth started to come over me. It started at my feet, and then progressed to my entire body. I blacked out.

The cool air swept by and kissed my face, waking me up. Slowly I opened my eyes. I thought that I was in a dream. Acres and acres of flowers, fresh air, and never ending beauty. I got up, wiped the dirt off my jeans, and stumbled along, trying to find where I was.

There was a large willow tree about sixty yards away. I made my way there, still trying to realize where exactly I was. When I made my way to the tree, and engraved heart with a S+V in the bark. I smiled, and then she revealed herself. Violet came from the other side of the tree and silently walked over to me. She kissed me, and I could feel the static. It wasn't a dream, it couldn't be. It was exactly how I remembered her. She took my hand in hers, and led me towards the sun. It shone brighter and more vibrant thnn I had ever seen. Then, we were met with a man who I didn't recognize at first. Violet released my hands to hug him, and then I knew exactly who it was. His short brown hair and stocky figure gave it way, it was her brother. I had never known his name, but I couldn't forget his look, and the stories of how amazing he had been. I turned to look at the willow tree and there, my life shone before me. I could see what was happening on earth. My father had come home about an hour after I passed out, and called an ambulance. The paramedics had arrived, trying, and failing to revive me. He was hysteric. He and Violets mom started spending time together, planning the funerals. We ended up having a combined funeral and being buried together. My dad got along though, and everything ended up fine. When I turned back from the willow tree, Violets brother was gone.

Violet came closer to me. She put her right hand around my neck ever so slowly, making the hairs on the back tingle. The other intertwined with my hand. She snuck a kiss, and held me in to a deep hug. Her short figure fell perfectly in mine. Her head laid in my chest, and I held her tighter than I ever had in the six months I knew her. She went on her tippy toes, pecked my cheek, and made her way to my ear. She then whispered softly.

“Skylar, I love you. We can be together now, welcome home.” Both of our faces were flooded with tears. Not tears of disappoint. Tears of overjoy. I continuously hugged her and kissed her, it felt so surreal. I thought that I had lost her forever, and even if I did die, that I wouldn't find her. I had succeeded though. I knew that I would sacrifice anything for her. Anything at all. Now, we could be together for all eternity. Just the two of us, forever in love.

Reviews

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

theres quite a few typos in this such as 'by' instead of 'my' and the letter and note Skylar wrote... the font is too small though readable its difficult. also the jump in time. one moment its less than 24 hours before they met the next six months had passed there was no defining gap if that makes sense. the last thing is the relationship it starts awfully quick. I would think they were friends for a bit first. all in all a good story but in need of editing. as to the ending what if Skylar also found his mother after all violate found her brother?

[Kaylie]

Thank you for taking time to read. This is one of my older pieces, and I should have proofread it again before posting it. I appreciate the feedback very much!

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

Thats ok it was my pleasure. everyone's writing has mistakes even 10 years after writing one of my first chapters i still find mistakes, and my grammar is absolutely terrible to the point of almost being nonexistent but i still post my work. :-)

[Kaylie]

Would you mind checking out some of my poems? I'd love to hear what you have to say on them. I write to write, and I usually have to continuously edit things until they look even readable. So don't worry about your grammar!