Line of control

A poem regarding the brutality of the Pakistani Army on the Line of Control

This imaginary line

Defines you from I

You stay on your side

Cross it and die

We draw such lines

to claim land

power and greed

go hand in hand

Cease fire

Lets talk peace

Brutal slaughter

Two soldiers deceased

Deny it you will

Blame the birds or the sky

S**t hits the ceiling 

You pretend or you lie

Mutilated were their bodies

Devastated is our country

We mourn our martyrs 

As you claim your trophies 

Enough is enough

You want to fight rough?

We won't retaliate like animals 

But we'll make you suffer name and shame

We'll make sure you're the black dot

In the map of history

We'll show the world

How barbaric you are

Dig your own graves

You cowards

For the line of control 

Maybe just an imaginary line

But in the mind of us Indians 

All your crimes

Will not go unpunished

For God and Country 

We will press, as

You continue to deny

Justice will unravel

Your disgusting lie 

Jai Hind

Author's Note

Salute to all the Indian Soldiers who lost their lives on the line of control and strength to all the families of these brave-hearts.

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

"Two soldiers diseased" -I wonder if you meant deceased?

This one packs a punch. The flow was interrupted toward the end there for a bit when you lost the structure and rhyme, but the words were powerful enough to overlook the change in format.

The anger certainly came through. Good write, kee; thanks for sharing it with us.

[KeeD]

Thank you so much for reviewing this and pointing that out, was waiting for your review to be honest, I was so filled with emotion whiles writing this, so I apologize for the error. It just hurts when stuff like this happens and then they blame wild animals for beheading and burning cigarette marks on the soldiers skin. I'm not as patriotic as I should be but on humanitarian grounds that is just unacceptable

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure, as always. I am woefully (blissfully?) unaware of this battle that is raging, this Line of Control, but you have certainly sparked an interest. A true poet does that, you know ;-)

[KeeD]

You know I really didn't have a passion for poetry, writing, reading any of it but it's thanks to people like you, and Frieda P just to name a few of the wonderful encouraging, helpful people i've come across here that i've sparked such an interest a passion to better my writing and for that I am forever grateful to all of you. As for the line of control topic, it should be on your international news channel perhaps CNN or BBC network, it's at the brink where Indian and Pakistan might just be headed for full fledged war. Both being nuclear nations this is a very scary yet real threat.

[KAOlmsted]

Thank you, Keegan...that makes me happy to hear (about the poetry, of course, not the war...obviously) That is a very very scary thing. What's America going to do about it ;-)

[TurtleClark]

this is really good

[KeeD]

Thank you

[cognitivetatum]

Your topics are endless and you have a mind like myself I believe....full of rabbit trails!! Very strong words...

[KeeD]

I have a very weird creative mind, poems or writing was never my idea of expressing my creativity but they seem to be an amazing outlet lately. I love to do collaborations aswell so yeah keep in touch if you ever wanna bounce of ideas :D

[LA Lorena]

I love poetry where the poet takes a stand and speaks on something that is true to their cause and calling, for it makes for the strongest of words. good job keegan!

[KeeD]

Yeah LA as I was telling Kimmers today that I'm not very patriotic by any means but just on humanitarian grounds this is so wrong, they mutilated two soldiers with extreme brutality and then blame it on wild animals? There were cigarette burns on the bodies.. Since when do wolves smoke ;/ thank you for the kind review

[rnuff]

wow this is powerful writing here i really enjoyed this

[KeeD]

thank you shorty :) much appreciate your reviews

[Frieda P]

Wow, this is really potent stuff. Made my flesh shiver in it's wake. You really bring to light the ravages of war. It's strikingly prodigious in it's content and lingers after the read. You've wrapped in up in an ugly package and exposed it for what it is, unearthed it for us to read. Startling, and I am touched by your words.

[KeeD]

I'm really not patriotic Frieda but on humanitarian grounds I just feel it's so wrong that two of my country's soldiers are brutally mutilated and killed and beheaded and then they claim that it could be the birds or the sky or wild animals that did it. They were cigarette burns on the bodies..I was full of emotion when writing this and I'm glad it touched you in a not so negative way.

[Frieda P]

Your reply touches me deeper than your poetry, had no clue that this happened, but know these kind of atrocities exist. What's wrong with people? A question I ask quite often....

[Bluefire]

This is an amazing poem of war and loss.
I respect and love this poem very much.
The rhyme and flow of the poem worked perfectly with everything you conveyed within each word.
Well done! ^^

[KeeD]

thank you so much for your review Miss Fire, I love that you Favorited it, means the world to me.

[Bluefire]

No problem! ^^ It is an amazing poem, you should be proud.