Dwell into the deep

I Submerge into the deep blue sea 

Countless figures in the reflection I see

The whispers of the fish grow louder 

as the water feels calm yet cold

falling slowly into the unexplored

the thrill of adventure it envelops 

hidden fear of seeing the light nevermore 

may it be the final journey 

These eyes shall experience 

the beauty of life hidden to the world above

that's when the sirens song it rings

melodious joy to my ears it brings

I slumber into a timeless sleep

my body dwells into the deep

I awaken surrounded by a maiden

with shimmering hair of gold and emerald eyes

scales for skin but a complexion o'so fair 

I'm startled by her gaze 

She looks towards me even more amazed

 I feel air escape my lungs 

She weeps as she feels life flee my vessel 

Holding me in her arms she begins to wrestle

currents, racing to take me to shore 

The mermaid seeks to see her reflection in my eyes once more

To meet that price i'd gladly drown a thousand times

Author's Note

trying to get back into the groove of writing fantasy related poems or any writing in general.

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

First of all, I really liked the first half of the poem. The imagery was amazing, and you had excellent flow. The second part with the mermaid was still good, but the flow wasn't as good, and the image wasn't as powerful for me. But obviously several other reviewers liked these lines the most, so I would take my opinion with a grain of salt. I am wondering if for the title of this poem, instead of dwell, perhaps you meant 'delve'?

[ms. barrie]

I absolutely adore this! Very beautiful indeed, your words weave a web of
unique eloquent imagery of drowning
inside a fantasy, wishful romance that leaves one's imagination and heart sighing.

The Third and I agree with jacob, last stanzas are my favorite. Great job, Keegan, pen on :)

[KeeD]

Ty sweetheart :)

[ms. barrie]

you're very welcome'd Keegan, this was a pleasure to read...take care and Namaste xox :)

[:o]

Fantasy and romanticism float throughout each line. Your writing is beautiful and the music adds to the charm of the poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really eerily romantic write...reminded me a bit of "splash"

especially at the end, when he welcomed that life with her....

there is a giving in and giving up in this piece, but it is with positive tone.

[Frieda P]

You had me at whispering fish. I've missed reading your enchanting words Kee, you haven't lost your amazing magical touch. Geez, killer last line, I loved it from first to last. Bravo. Have a great New Year my sweet friend! x

[KeeD]

Thank you sweet Frieda P, i've missed you!, Hope you had an amazing Christmas and have an even more awesome New Years. Much love