A Possession (3) Luciferian's Shroud

Rework of Part 3 of A Possession series of poems from 2012.

Scorching heat as hell's flames arose

The sound of hounds howling as

their blood thirst grows

The word of a fresh soul has spread around

The vilest of creatures rise from the ground

 

Behemoth the fourth, prince of the dark

Arose from his throne and set his mark

With a goats body and horns of steel

Through a war horn, a vicious roar did he squeal

"Target the soul of the girl in the shroud;

Break her completely, let her cries be heard aloud"

 

To the east quarter was where Grenth dwell

For Grenth was the most vicious lieutenant of hell

Out of the shadows, his most trusted minion appeared

A black widowed spider with the head of a girl

"My Lord Grenth, with news I come forth

An immaculate girl crossed the forsaken door"

Rage filled his heart as his eyes burst with glee

Come Annaliese darling, dinners on me.

 

The rightful heir to the throne of hell

Luciferian was the devil's son himself

The beauty of Elise captured his wicked heart

He devised a plan that would crush any counterpart

He beckoned his sister Lyssa the Cruel

Slit her wrist, and stood in the pool

Blackened blood made a vision appear

Through it, he whispered "Elise my darling do not fear

It is I Luciferian, heed my voice; it shall get you out of here"

 

She followed his voice through a maze of rust and bone

Finally, in hell, she didn't feel so alone

Just when she believed she would escape this plight
A barricade of cobwebs caught her by surprise

In her distress, came a loud putrid laugh,

A sorrowful caress from Grenth's behalf

"It is I Annaliese, wench of the east,

It is time for you to die, girl, on you shall I feast."

 

She wiggled and screamed, the fear in her eyes

The spider was about to devour her life

Just then a pool of black blood covered her face

Lyssa had suddenly swapped in her place

"Elise my dear, you are safe and sound

Luciferian has defeated Behemoth and his hounds"

 

Follow the road that leads above ground

You will find the same well in which you have drowned

Hell has chosen to spit you back out

For a mission, you have only Luciferian knows about

If you are lucky, you should get to thank him

My brother, my lord, the son of pure sin

 

Elise walked the path to the end

Her knees weak, her confidence rend

Three evils out to finish her soul

Only to be a pawn in the prime evils greater goal

Reviews

[Gustavo Mendez]

I love this! I am not even lying when I say I read all three parts in ten minutes, that's how immersive it is! I love this type of poetry! The way the events are narrated and how you rhyme it just makes it wonderful! I won't give you a review on technical or structural aspects, I'm no expert, yet still I tell you it is one of my favorite poems I've read so far in this site. Keep it up!

[Chris Shaw]

This is so dark, and yet so well narrated. I can't understand why you haven't got more reviews. Surely not because readers fear the content (lol). You have incredible imagination and take your reader to places she has never been before and perhaps where she wouldn't want to go again. I certainly have no fear of words.

Chris

[KeeD]

Haha I adore you Christine, your reviews are so genuine and sweet. I don't think it's a the content, i'm just not popular on here at all and by far not talented enough to attract a lot of readers daily. I'm just grateful for the few friends I've made on here who encourage me to keep trying and get better, so thank you for always being one of them! xo

[Chris Shaw]

You've got the talent. You need to publicise yourself more. Leave more responses and you will get read more. Works for me.

[.]

It's a fine piece. Rhyme is very well done. My issue is the structure. If you want to write narrative poetry, it's best to keep to structure.....ie...same lines per stanza with same rhyme scheme throughout. That's how the pros do it.

[KeeD]

Noted, this piece was from 2012, I have worked on structure since then in my writing journey, still not quite there yet but definitely a work in progress for my writing skills. Appreciate the helpful critique