Stickleback & the Crooked house

 

For once we know, and it will show to all the memory rivers.

Nostalgic rooms and picture blooms come into scents with shivers

We net our thoughts and airy walks that only childhood give us

a jar with fish and risks we missed several times delivered

A haunted place a quiet disgrace come falling to the forefront

all whispering and clattering gives what the hero doesn't

to set a scare this is the dare as ages to our mark go

the holiday and Summer way travel through the playtime slow

No matter what you say a halcyon day will in this way now glow

But these alone for all they're shown will sink in bitter stance

For none to be, there was just me that all these games now thank

 

 

Reviews

[Lynn Mariposa]

I LOVED "Stickleback & the Crooked House". The title is whimsicle, and reminds me of the best of those English children's stories. The imagery is rich--and has a strong feeling of reminensce that pulled me into my own memories of childhood.
My only advice is to change this last stanza:
But these alone for all they're shown will sink in bitter stance
For none to be, there was just me that all these games now thank
It does not ryhme, and I was expecting it would or should... My mind automatically connected the word "thank with "stank" because of the way it is shaped.
All in all, this remains a strong poem.

[Lynn Mariposa]

Wow--This is like a new poem since revision! "Stickleback" gave me the shivers...it left me with the impression of trying to capture something that has passed. The rythm is strong, and it reads in an almost lyrical way. I like the porportion of "Stickleback", when I was finished reading the poem I felt, in a way, like I wanted to go back and grab hold of something I missed or to hear again another word...

My fave line: We net our thoughts and airy walks that only childhood give us
a jar with fish and risks we missed several times delivered

great job :)

[Donald Meikle]

Nice faerie pic Ken and Dovecot Park pond will ne'er be forgot

[Emily B]

Lovely and a little sad. At the end of my favorite movie, the little girl says, "Childhood is what we spend the rest of our life trying to overcome." I can't agree more.

[W.k.kortas]

The wise and learned Orlando is, in my view, right on target with his review. There's something of A Child's Garden of Verses feel to this, but with clear overtones of sadness and regret woven throughout. Wistful, nostalgic, very evocative, and very well-crafted and effective.

[R J Askew]

Very evocative...for some reason sticklbacks and tadpoles are things of childhood, as are nets and the adventure of capturing creatures. 'Stickleback' is just a lovely word also. Really enjoyed 'We net our thoughts' and 'a jar of fish'...are poems our present day fish? 'Clattering' is another word that catches the ear. So the 'halycyon day' is so carefree it dawdles right? While the poem brings to mind images from my own past which i seldom think about, there is also a sadness threaded through it '...risks, haunted, disgrace, sink, bitter...' Nothing ever what it seems, right, even nostalgia and trusting in the past which we are sort of expected to remember with fondness.

[SM Davis]

A haunted place a quiet disgrace come falling to the forefront
all whispering and clattering gives what the hero doesn't

You've become your own champion. it's sad that there are two like we whose childhood champion never came. You are a hero now. Know for certain.