My best friend's wedding

I waited, I waited, I wanted it to be true
Jain as a name did not suit you
I was minding my own business doing nothing at all
An unknown number, I still answered the call
Bhaiya you said, Behni I called
You laughed and said, your Hindi hasn't improved at all

We chatted and chatted till we had nothing to say
Kenny, guess what, I found a guy that happens not to be gay
Silence was the sound, that was heard from the other end
So soon I thought, a joke I comprehend

He's a doctor you say, from indore he's come
Too take me away and make me a Mum
So book your tickets, right now to travel
It's September i know, but I want no hassle
28th and 29th of Jan I've set the dates
You better be there and for god's sake not late

Your wish shall be my epic command
Adventures I love with a life threatening demand
And oh, what's this I'm coming alone?
The rest of these b******s are too scared of your home?

No matter I come, and thereto in peace
Alone shall I be with veg food and grief

The universe does work, in ways we can never comprehend
To disturb my peace, a Christian girl god sends
Her msg didn't creep me out, in fact she once tried to call
Alas, I have company, I wrote on my wall

We plan our travel with military precision
I miss my flight was her horrifying vision
I made it, I made it, with but a minute to spare
So I stand before a mirror and comb what's left of my hair

We stuff our faces in the veg cuisines of Delhi
Our mission not to offend, non eaters of meat curry
But, They order from Kentucky and then from the Hut
We thought to ourselves, Dude What the f**k!!!

As we race for the last of our deadly flights
Our companions, we see, from an escalated height
We meet, we greet, we dine, we dash
Seats separated, that made me so sad

The Christian girl to her room she walks over
A Punjabi is sleeping, she is too hung over
The greeting is short, shorter than a gold fish's memory
The objective the same, to dreamland in a hurry

My roommate is hiding, where can he be?
In the room, with the girls?, damn he's so unlike me
The plans have been laid, to best of mice and men
It's cold outside, I try hard to pretend

The drive is short, had I walked it I'd be frozen
The garden, is beautiful, I feel like in heaven
The bride we spot, she looks like an angel
She always did, But even more so than usual

To the food!!! we attack, like a horde of angry barbarians
We try all, we feast, I find a reason to turn vegetarian
There was chaat, there was Thai, there were things I could not pronounce
But, too much Aloo the punjabi had reason to denounce

There was dancing and singing with Olympic competition
In spite of the cold, and for want of no recognition
Our punjabi was first and roommate was second
They burned up the floor, there were fires in heaven

The bride is on stage, so graceful her dance
Divine her movement, Left us stuck in a trance
Her lover joined in, it soon turned to laughter
But our eyes brought rain, when they danced with the other

We hugged the fires, like a bear to its honey
Till coffee was served, with chocolate, so yummy
Through planning or fate, their parents and a few many
We joined on the same date, a double ceremony

The songs were sung, the speeches were read
The lanterns lit, the stomaches were fed
They danced again to times remembered
The videos played, again to supper

As nigh had ended, we turn in for the morrow
The grand tamasha, and more eating to follow
But as the old hath slept, we snuck out the bride
To our little room, where whiskey we hide

We drank and we laughed, I was lost for many a times
The bride did her shots, but for long she could not hide
We shared our stories, of past and a possible futures
Games we played that kids would not even consider

The punjabi was fun, we had our silent spectator
Our friend from Ajmer, was high on Russian beer
The Christian couple from, thence shalt be known
Were blushing and shying, the fun hath now grown

As East turns west, our eyes hath turned heavy
Though weary of sleep, the spirit of the morrow was ripe with merry
As the sun reaches peak, from slumber we had woken
For how can we sleep, the bride hath not stopped callin

We rush and ramble, our stomaches have been starved
We meet and greet to the Buffet we charge
When thus we made energy out of our food
The girls set forth to enhance their beauty, the boys set to snooze

We readied, our minds, our bodies, our tongues
Into the breach once more, was sung
Too early? A shock, we kept the bride alive
Our cameras were out, modelling we tried
Photos and Poses, Injustice was done
With Mahavira as witness, boredom turned fun

The traditions were strange, the vows filled with humour
Around the fire they went, we all yelled Rachita!!
When the holy had anointed, the
Bride and her Man
The family of the bride, slippery negotiation hath planned

From riches to rags, numbers went to and fro
It was a children's crusade, violence started to grow
How strange I thought, for one pair of slipper
They bring in the big guns, Rachita's Grandmother

We sat around a table with fires by our sides
The food was plenty and warmth for our backsides
We ate and we drank, we drank and we ate
Like Somalian refugees, who had never seen a plate

The sound of music started to grow
We danced, we tried, Ajmer videotaped the show
And then like a plague from medieval, a curse befell us all
While wishing the couple, the punjabi had a great fall
King's Horses weren't needed nor were his men
She picked herself with pride, never to climb stairs again

The mood turn somber, people gathered around
The mutchar was there, I started to frown
The bride was uneasy, her time hath started to come
To leave her family, she cried to her mum

The cousins and siblings, broke down to cry
The kakas and kakis, were the strength by her side
The longest walk, If ever I did see
A tear had found its way down my cheek
And I for fact, who had walked a 100 miles
Never felt the pain, that my Behni felt inside

We try to console, but this girl is over with emotions
The first of her marriage, in her current generation
Amazing, how fun can turn to tears in an instant
We packed up in cars, I already miss this

Gathering for one last party trick
The bride rejoins us, we smuggle her a drink
The games were funny, our stories grew bolder
The Christian girl hath slept, she must be getting older
The punjabi resists, but to sleep she succumbs
The rest of us hold the fort, till morning light hath shun

Two comrades depart, almost without trace
We say our goodbyes to family of this awesome place
We pack and move, we plan and ponder
To meet again, someday, somewhere, o'er yonder

What a dream I've lived, of a realty surreal
The punjabi and I in secret we scheme
At the dock of the air, we see them again
Another goodbye, this time I'll pretend

As we board the plane, last picture we take
Tracing our roots to home and heartache
To bosses, that are waiting, to the food we hate
To a routine suicidal, to our friends, to our state
Will this be relived, will chance bring us together
Inshallah, these are memories forever..