What Just Happened?

I didn't die, I wasn't dreaming.

It was June 4th, I was talking to a lady I had met a few weeks earlier. She kept calling me "Pilgrim" I didn't ask why. I forget what the topic was but suddenly I had to be outside. I blasted out the door into the backyard which was big and full of old oak trees. It was thunderous and dark with black thick clouds that poured down huge raindrops. I realized I was crying, balling like a madman but not with tears of sadness. The joy and relief I felt took my breath away. I didn't hear any booming voices or trumpets blaring, didn't see any bushes burning. There wasn't an old man with a white beard standing on clouds. I would have liked to see an Angel or two. What I did see was a rare summer storm that was all mine. In an instant, without warning, suddenly, everything changed. There was no time, no space, no beginning or end, no past, present, or future. In that moment everything synchronized and clicked. I know, in that instant how everything is connected and that it vibrates on One frequency. A frequency that is always there but we don't see it in everyday living. I don't just believe that there is something greater than us, I now KNOW. Without a doubt, 100% positive that All Is Well. Everything is taken care of.

I used to stand on the bow of a tugboat and watch the dolphins ride the wake on both sides of me, a few feet away. They would look me right in the eye and I could see the pleasure they felt while playing. They smiled with their eyes. If I had any visions during this "Rush" I was having this was it. We are here to play, not to foul everything up with being human. I don't know how long this happened but I was soaked from standing in the rain. I was on this wave of energy and now had to tell others. I had to find a way to give this away. Everybody must have this, now. I went back inside and my friend said "well, I guess you're not a pilgrim anymore". I didn't think about it then. She patiently listened to me and smiled. I saw that every single thing had been touched by the hand of God (for lack of a better word), God is too small a word to describe what happened. It is still difficult because there aren't enough words to describe this happening. I spent years studying world religions in search of an answer to what this was. I ran around for months trying to tell anyone that would listen what had happened to me. My friends became angry because they wanted to experience this and got tired of listening to me only talk about this one thing. People began to doubt my sanity. I had already worked at a few different mental hospitals by then. I, for a minute, began to doubt my sanity. Then it happened 4 more times. Not as intense but it was there. Eventually everyday living took the drivers seat and it kinda faded. I only talked about it to people I knew would be receptive. On that June 4th all the anger from childhood was taken away. I carried a lot of crap around for way too many years and then poof, gone. Seeing and feeling everything in the universe synchronize at once and vibrating with electrical energy and light at that higher frequency connects you with all that is. The heartbeat and circles all moving as one. In the blink of an eye you understand why we are here, what it all means. You KNOW! I have heard others talk of this. Some died and came back, most saw a bright light, most felt the energy like a warm blanket covering them. They all have the same desire to tell everyone but struggle to find words. It really can't be put into just words. But, crazy as this is, I got there using words, sharing words, communicating with a friend each time it happened. This epiphany, awakening, Knowing, rush, getting smacked by God/Goddess is the most amazing thing that could happen to anyone. I have since discovered that it is now happening to more people, at a faster rate, more frequently, at younger ages than ever before. I have also learned how to tap back into it. I haven't gotten there yet but won't quit. Meditation is the key to unlock the gate. I share this hoping others will share their "Rush".