Depression

My first attempt at poetry... my realisation that i was being used... Not by you, but by the people i thought were supporting me. It just shows how easy people will turn away when something shiny comes along. Its not that good, but i think its a poem...

Status change,
A mind gone blank,
A life that can never compete.

A broken heart,
Filled with regret,
That wont look itself in the eye.

One man's dream,
Anothers folly,
The quest to re-raise a pen.

Lacklustre longing,
For the wrongs to be rights,
A bitter silence,
Of a notepad laid bare.

Tried to regain...
Failed to fulfil...
Doomed once more to the spotlight.

Smiling fans,
An eager crowd,
None admitting their fears.

Realising his folly,
He fades to the back,
His works dwindling away.

His once-fans laugh,
As they look to the back,
The new meat taking his place.

None remember,
The quietened boy,
That once took his pen to the stage...

None will remember,
Why he stopped writing...

...Only for acting his age

Author's Note

This is my first attempt at poetry, you can now appreciate why i dont put them up.

Reviews

[Pink Poison]

Actually, I think this is very good. You don't give yourself the credit you deserve. I think that you just aren't used to the flow of poetry, and perhaps are too close to the piece to view it objectively. Your image of a broken heart that "won't look itself in the eye" and "a bitter silence of a notepad laid bare" are absolutely poetry. They are the bones of feelings and if you can say so much with so little, kudos. I have read far worse poetry from very popular famous writers. Cut yourself some slack and keep writing. You have a talent for poetry that you shouldn't deny.

[Laura E. Aranda]

Definitely a Poem! You outta see some of the things we all issue forth and call 'poetry'
HA!
You did a splendid job , very realistic and easy to follow......don't quit writing poetry!! You have only begun......
My only suggestion:

That wont look itself in the eye


the wont
needs
a '
so try won't

haha
cheers,lea

[Rachel DeHart]

:]
I like it. A little rough, but good.

[FoolsGold23]

PSHT put up your poetry man, if they're like this!!! (And the rest of your stories, ye'd better be cookin' on them, I've given you four weeks or so, we need new details!!!) k, back to the poem.
You metaphors are unique, some I'd never imagined, "a broken heart...afraid to look itself in the eye" stood out to me the most, then the analogy of a stage-player fading into the black. Loved this, not emo at all, rather light, and just perfect. Great work stranger!!~P