Envy me

What has age done to me

Shuffling cards looking for answers

Giving up to the dirty game of fait

Giving up on all my anger and hate

 

And a friend of mine envies me

He envies me for my suffering

For running in circles and drifting away

He envies me for being homeless, not free

 

And that moon is still away from my window

As I drip last of my pride in a chase

Winter has came, frozen is the meadow

And I drag along an empty suitcase

 

Who holds the key of my hunted home

A stranger I am, not one of the norm

Is it time for me to dress my dark cloak

As the sky hides behind clouds and smoke

 

As some walk ahead as some follow me

No one is beside that old oak tree

And I’m still not there

Not even with her

 

This is not what you think it is

This is not like what you see

It’s not what you have in your mind, or his

It’s not what I hide in me

 

For once I don’t know

For once again I show

All my dead lost dreams

All my flashbacks all my screams

 

All echo in vain

To the sound of the insane

Desire and pain

All answers melting the brain

 

Under falling sun

And he envies me

How could he envy me for lying under burning sun

How could he envy me for a mirage that I can hardly see

How could he envy me … for being me

 

Well if it makes you feel better so shall it be

Envy me

As I stare through my broken window I see them sleep

I see them laugh in madness as I hold to what I can’t keep

 

The frozen desert has left me to die

How could cold be so eye burning

How could hope be worse than yearning

How high can the raven fly

 

Endless night

Endless fight

And no rest for the wicked

Author's Note

Reviews are welcomed.

Reviews

[Lily Mae]

It's funny how envy works. People assume things about other people without really knowing the truth or the suffering that might be taking place inside what they seem to think is a "dream" life. I think your words here are perfect in showing that journey..that struggle..xo

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Mo can you write me some new poems for the contest?

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful journey in the poem. Most of us learn the hard way. Experiences make us wiser and more kind. I like the story and wisdom shared in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote