Train

 

Train

 

Have a set the captain commanded

Why you think I’m getting off at the next stop

This train became so interesting

Sharing a seat a criminal and a cop

I wonder if he knows that the man next to him just stole a ladies purse

Trying to hide it under his arm, and stay calm

I guess he’ll find out when he gets off and get a cup of coffee

Only to find out his wallets missing

Here this cop wishing he didn’t like this criminal

Sharing last nights sport center highlights

And old holly field fights

Just as the criminal is about to get off ,the cop yells

Hi you forgot your wallet

The criminal smiles and gives him 20 dollars to pocket

Back to corporate America this criminal goes

Have a seat the captain commanded

Why you think I’m getting off at the next stop

This train became so interesting

Sharing a seat a criminal and a cop

Now a 12 year old year with no shoes but wet socks

I wonder if she know

That people notice the burses next to her elbows

I guess she find out when people stare uncontrollably

Only to find people can tell you’re sitting uncomfortably

Here’s this girl wishing she haven’t gotten on

Sharing the same feelings I know she feels all alone

Just as she’s about to get off I yell

Hi you forgot your purse

The girl looks at me hungry but honest as her lips were about to open

I grab her cold hands

And said I seen you drop it

She nodded and smiled

To thankful to say a word

Have a set the captain commanded

why you think I’m getting of at the next stop

This train became so interesting

Sharing a seat a criminal and a cop

Now a 12 year old girl no shoe but wet sock

I wonder if I can pick up what this train has dropped

I think I should have a seat because this train doesn’t stop

Author's Note

I dont like this peom lol myself hahahahaha but my friend loved it and wanted me to post it so ...I did! lol

Reviews

[Big ol' Kahuna]

I liked this. I liked the story within the poem, and the repetition was cool too. To me the highlight was the little girl, and how honest she was. I hope the purse was loaded with cash! That is my sappy thought though. She was the light of the poem!

Nice job! I don't know why you didn't like it. Your friend was right.

[Lauren Marie]

I like it.
There were a lot of grammatical errors, and that can draw the reader's eye away from the actual story that you're trying to paint, but I loved the message that it gave and the repetition.
~Lauren

[kruser23]

hey, thanks for the comment, i appreciate it. Read a few of your pieces, keep writing, youve got some really strong, raw talent.

[Tobias Wall]

I like the last line, it illustrates the way life always is...it just keeps going.