30th year

Young, outcast, alone, mentally broken

Well there come a time when you turn a age, and things just doesn't hit the same or feel the same.

You just need a change too brake free, but how and where and when? All of this comes to though but will the world accept you're chooses, or will they hate you.

I have two wonderful children my daughter whom is going to be 11 this year plays soccer and is a a/b student at a privet school.

My son whom will be 7 this coming summer, is going into soccer this summer. My son is too a a/b student in the same school. I love them all so much and nothing and no one knows how  much I love these two.

There how ever a demon that binds me and my children too a hell bound, situation that cause us too double look around so we know we aren't being watch.

Have too run off to a park or just drive around too talk cause he always listening in, trying too record in my house.

Being in my 30th and having two kids and a van and my own house, its hell too do it all I've tried with a partner and that didn't work out cause I pushed him away too a point that i'm a s**t head too have my children all the time.

I sold my soul too the kids dads, too have my children for now and for ever.

This is a have weight too wear.

I miss my partner so much that it hurts, I cry some days my heart hurts where I can't breath.

I am in all distress.

Having the children dad in my house, trying too take over, try too tell me what I can and can't do.

Hell to the no this is my house my car my stuff I made and worked towards.

I did this not him, I'm in with my life alone I suffer I cut off all good thing too me to be the perfect mother for my children.

There is one thing too sent me free that is I get full custody of my children, I have been burn by the courts, people have lied too make me look bad when i'm not I am 100 percent for my children and too have fun with them.

But I can't have happiness, I can't have freedom, I can't have anything cause the world is hatting me. 

I am going through help too see what I can do, but once and always everything is still hatting me.

People all say too go back too the 50/50 bullshit which isn't helpful too a child mental health. It does more damage than anything they will come into contact with. 

I grew up with my mother and seeing my dad every other weekend and week in the summer. 

I grew up just find too where I have a house, I have a van, I have a job, I have my life put together. I am preparing to go too collage too become a nurse.

There dad has no ambition no drive, no nothing.

I am lost and alone, throw all of this, and everyone is still just hates me.

I don't know who i've pissed off in this world but why I can't I am my children live happily without the demon slowly eating my life away. 

My son and my daughter is afraid of him but they go shy, when the demon ask how they feel.

This isn't fair too them, it isn't fair too me. My children and my children are afraid and lost and fear that hell kidnap them again.

There need too be a fine line too this 50/50 bullshit that doesn't work in this kind of situations. 

I need help I oh need help. 

I love my children so much more than anything.

please goddess help me with my life.

Help me to protect me to protect my children.

I want my children and my self too have a happy life please i'm so tried living in hell.

The demon is killing my soul my love life my everything so lost and alone.

I need my mental health back.