A Battle With The Heart and Mind

Take a trip into the mind of a girl torn between her morals and her past.

A/N: The character and events in this short story are both from my chapter book: "School of Murder" from chapter 14. 

For this story to make more sense, please take the time to read chapter 14. Thank you for the support. 

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Gabby gasped softly as she opened her eyes, seeing nothing but a dull grey around her. She let out an aggravated sigh as she stood up, looking down at her clothes to see that she was still wearing her blue uniform, the left side of the uniform soaked in blood.

“Damn, I must be unconscious right now..” She mumbled to herself as she began to walk forward, putting her hands in her pockets as she looked to the ground.

She kept her eyes to the ground as she walked. She knew that she wasn’t really going anywhere; after all, she was just dreaming. She took a glance at her side again, not quite remembering how the blood got there. Then, as if an answer to her questions, the grey empty space turned dark before showing Gabby her last memory before blacking out.

Images of the second festival began to flash around her, images of Hue being wounded, of Nara running out with a knife in hand to protect him. The feeling of anger soon filled Gabby as she watched these memories and with that anger came the single sentence that hurt much worse than Naras knife.

“If I can’t have you, no one can.”

Gabby’s face then dropped before her expression was replaced with one of dread.

“I really said that to her?! No wonder she stabbed me! I need to wake up now!” She exclaimed before starting to run.

Gabby ran and ran but no matter how much she did, it didn’t seem like she was going anywhere. She then stopped dead in her tracks, confused as to what she saw in front of her. On the ground at her feet was a small, purple flower. Gabby got on a knee and picked it up, looking at the small plant.

It took her a moment before she realised what exactly the flower was. It was a part of a purple hyacinth, a flower that could be seen often around the school. Gabby took a minute to look at it before she looked around for the rest of the plant, but it was nowhere to be found. She then scoffed and crushed the flower in her hand before dropping it.

“Why the hell am I dreaming of flowers?” She asked out loud before letting out an aggravated growl.

“And why can’t I wake up?!” She screamed out before starting to run once again in the empty space. She ran for what felt like an eternity before she stopped, falling to her knees while panting.

“What kind of dream is this..?” She asked herself before letting herself fall on her back, her eyes firmly shut. It wasn’t a moment later when she heard what sounded like small and faint footsteps slowly approaching, causing her to get up. 

Once up, her eyes went wide in disbelief at what she saw. Standing not too far away from her was a little girl with short green hair and big cyan colored eyes wearing a small sundress. Gabby stood there for a moment, staring at the little girl as she stared back. The little girl then took something out of the pocket in her dress, looking down at her hand with a small pout.

“Why...Did you hurt it…?” The little girl asked with a small and almost frail voice.

Gabby gulped softly before glancing at the girls hand, seeing the purple flower she had crushed earlier.

“It was small. It isn't important to me anymore, so who cares if it gets hurt?” She responded bluntly, the little girl looking back up at Gabby.

“How could you say that about anything?” The girl asked in the same voice, making Gabby scoff in annoyance.

“Ask your mother.” She responded harshly before turning away from the girl. She was quiet for a minute before letting out a sigh.

“You better get out of here, kid. This is no place for someone innocent.” She said in a much more gentle tone to the child. The girl was quiet for a while and Gabby was about to walk off but was stopped by a single sentence said by the child.

“But...Then why are you here?”

“What did you just say…?” Gabby asked while looking back at the girl with wide eyes.

“If this place isn't for the innocent like you said, why are you here? You shouldn’t be here either.” The girl repeated before Gabby turned around again to face her, balling her hands into fists.

“Shut up…” She mumbled but the child shook her head.

“You act like you don’t care but you really do.” The girl continued. Gabby gripped her hair as the girl spoke, angry slowly filling her mind.

“I said to shut up!” She screamed before she ran to the girl, knocking her to the ground. The girl let out a small cry of pain before looking up to see Gabby hoving over her, anger in her eyes as she slowly lifted her fist up.

“You don’t want to hurt anyone.” The girl said as Gabby was about to bring her fist down. Her eyes went wide from hearing these words and her face softened. Gabby shook her head, her harsh expression returning as she brought her fist down but instead of hitting the girl, she hit the ground beside the girl's face.

“You were hurt by someone who you trusted. And now you hurt people to hide your own pain…” The girl continued on and watched as Gabby’s eyes quickly filled with tears and dripped down. Gabby slowly sat up, allowing the little girl to get up.

“You want to push everyone away so that you won't ever get hurt again. You try to be mean so that people don’t try. But you really want someone to care, you just don’t think anyone will.” The little girl said as she watched Gabby silently cry into her hand. Gabby moved her hand away from her face and looked at the girl with wet eyes.

“I’m sorry. But there is no changing this…I’m sorry this is what you’re going to grow up to be…” Gabby said softly as she held back more tears, looking down to the floor.

“People are going to think you’re a freak, life is going to be hell, and you won’t have any friends to help you through it, no one who likes you to be there for you…” She spoke with sorrow dripping from her words, the girl taking a few steps forward to embrace Gabby in a tight hug.

“Well, I like you. So, I’m okay with how I'm going to grow up.” The little girl said with a smile as Gabby slowly brought her arms around the little girl, letting out a loud cry as she squeezed the girl in the hug.

The little girl pulled back and Gabby held onto the pants of her uniform, letting out sob after sob as she allowed her tears to spill for the first time in years. The little girl reached into her sundress pocket and pulled out the crushed flower, showing it to Gabby. She took it in her own hand and closed it, holding it close to her chest.

“I’m sorry!” Gabby cried out as she leaned forward, trying her best to hold back her cries while she stared at the floor.

The girl smiled and turned; walking away into the grey space. Gabby stayed in that position until a large but weak gush of wind made her look up. As the wind continued to blow, Gabby was hit with the same small purple flower she had in her hand.

Gabby stood up as the small and harmless flowers hit her body, confused as to what was going on. She held her hands in front of her face as another large gust of wind came, bringing more flowers. When Gabby put her hands down, she was shocked to see a large wave of the purple flowers heading straight for her.

She tried to turn to leave but was stuck in place. She looked down at the ground to see the build up of the flowers at her feet where somehow keeping her in place. The next thing she knew, the wave of flowers hit her, suffocating her as she was seemingly dragged down further into the flowers.


Gabby sat up in bed as she panted heavily, holding onto her chest. She looked around the room and saw that she was in the nurse's office; Jackie next to the bed.

“Oh thank goodness! You looked like you were having a nightmare and then you started crying and I couldn’t wake you up!” Jackie exclaimed before he almost threw himself onto her, hugging her tightly.

Gabby flinched a bit from the pain in her side but smiled slightly as she put an arm around Jackie.

“Alright, get off of me.” She said with a rough voice as she dropped her smile, Jackie quickly getting off her.

Gabby got up and grabbed her uniform jacket from the side of the bed, putting it around her shoulders before looking to the nuse, giving her a slight wave before leaving the room.