Artificial Heart

My first poem on here...

Within my chest rests
not a heart
but a furnace;
fueled by the smoldering trash.

Ashes from the crash of my fallen hopes,
revoked and laid nude;
a lewd w***e of misunderstood truths,
legs spread with diseased dreams inbetween
raped and hung by the noose;
her body broken and bruised
cast within this furnace of brass
where copper tubes protrude,
rusted through and peeling
from the feeling I'm stealing
sand from the glass.

An hourglass cracked
from the stress of our past
which has lacked the vision to see a future.
For this glass is covered in fog;
a smog of pollution
built from this artificial heart.
And with no resolution in sight
I've lost any desire to fight
against these fires tearing me apart.

Fires from talks
and tip-toed conversations
engraved in skin.
Beginning again
amidst a hallway of irreversible sins.
But I'll begin to take a spin
to this wheel of fortune
which was once misfortune.
Unfortunately, I have a missed course in
divorcin regret.

Its the reason I walk
down these boardwalks
full of memories and talks
and body lines in chalk;
the years of tears
and warm beers
paved and engraved in stone blocks...

I've built this foundation...
I've denied my salvation...
I paved this road on which I walk...

I choose where it takes me.

Author's Note

Just some poetic musings. Typed with my phone lol

Reviews

[Maryam]

Your writing gives me chills. You have a way with words that is so expressive and so beautiful--even in a stanza like this one:

"Ashes from the crash of my fallen hopes,
revoked and laid nude;
a lewd w***e of misunderstood truths,
legs spread with diseased dreams inbetween
raped and hung by the noose;
her body broken and bruised
cast within this furnace of brass
where copper tubes protrude,
rusted through and peeling
from the feeling I'm stealing
sand from the glass. "

So many gorgeous images are painted perfectly with your word choices. The only suggestion I have is for you to try to pick a single image and carry that image through an entire poem with your beautiful words. It's hard to focus on a single thought or idea while reading this poem since you introduce so many vivid images all at once. Either way, it's a gorgeous piece!

[Knightingale]

Yeah I don't consider this poem one of my best. I did it really just to stretch my fingers and get the wheels turning so I could sit back and work on something else. I don't think I paused once while typing this lol check out a few of my other poems and you'll see a vast difference in style. Either way, thank you for taking a look at my work :)

[Rose of many colours]

This is good; very strong and deep, very expressive. It is like raising a white flag and saying I surrender.I love it

[Southern Cross]

I loved this so much that I couldn't pick out just a few lines to say really hit home. Great use of imagery and a beautiful poignant read.

[Knightingale]

I really just used this as a way to warm up to the idea of sharing my more personal pieces. I'm new to the idea of sharing my stuff with strangers.

[Southern Cross]

We are all lucky you have decided to share :) Don't consider us strangers but fellow creative voyagers.

[Knightingale]

That's a great way of putting it.

[Angel]

Wow.
Just...
Wow.
What you do with words, my friend...
Wow.
Magnificent write.


What kind of phone is that? And where can I get one?????

[Antoñyo]

And with no resolution in sight
I've lost any desire to fight
against these fires tearing me apart.
*
full of memories and talks
and body lines in chalk;

These stand alone with me...but in its entirety, what a powerful piece, haunting even, and sure to linger.
Wow. Thanks for that.

[Knightingale]

Thanks for the review, man. It means a lot. I've only just started showing my own work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

'tip toed conversations" had a lot of those in my day...

masterful use of metaphor in this poem and in the other i read of yours...

you really play well with language...

this rips the guts out of the reader.

[Knightingale]

I was honestly just trying to loosen up with this poem and gey used to the idea of strangers reading my work. Thank you for the kind words, Jacob.

[Wakeofahero]

Well done! I found this quite captivating to tell the truth!

[Wakeofahero]

Its the reason I walk
down these boardwalks
full of memories and talks
and body lines in chalk;
the years of tears
and warm beers
paved and engraved in stone blocks...


Loved that entire stanza. It is well written. This entire piece is awesome man. This one stanza in particular captures true sorrow. I loved it, and Im very critical with what I read. I believe that you are a fantastic writer my friend!

[Knightingale]

Thank you so much! That really does mean a lot. This was me trying to loosen up my thoughts in reality. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[K. Louis]

Great imagery in those first two stanzas!

[Knightingale]

Lol thanks :)