A memory in our youth

A Story by Krail

This was something I just wanted to share, an experience that was quite novel but real. I hope some of you would feel some type of relation to it.

I think many of us look back on our high school days. Some of us in regret for not doing something we should have. Others reminisce as they realize they spent their days living it to the fullest. But it is an undeniable fact that we all look back into it, for good or for bad. Maybe there was a club you liked, or maybe there was a girl or boy you were interested in. These memories will stick with you as either mistakes or the best decisions you ever made. And in the end they are memories that would shape your current and future self. My philosophy is that your life at high school reflects your character and how you transition to adulthood. It could also be thought that high school will carry the most amount of drama in your life. From who was the most popular boy or girl, to who was going out with who and even friendships. This is just one recount on one of my high school days, honestly it seems comical once I have typed it out like this but even so I thought it would be fun to share.

It was past the very first week of high school, the time when people were deciding what clubs to join and sorting out friendship circles. It was what could be called the most audacious period of time for any high school student, especially one that entered without any friends since it was a high school my parents went to thus I had no say. Though the first day has the individual introductions the biggest struggle was to make an introduction that did not stand out in the wrong way, but was not also bland and boring. This is something incredibly difficult thus I ignored this method of getting friends. Though I’m not an introverted or passive character I was feeling especially shy and nervous on that first day thus after doing a normal intro I failed to strike a conversation with anyone before most of the main circles of friends were made. Many people would know the classifications of these groups as the males contained either the sporty bunch or the ‘couldn’t talk to girls’ groups that were completely boys. While the all girl groups were either the very loud and obnoxious group and the quiet and responsible. Of course there was the group I didn’t want to ever involve myself in, that was the mixed gender group of popular or cool kids. They were usually nice in the start, but after a while drama would eventually happen and they would attract the attention of way to many people. As a loner, that place seemed to high standard so I aimed for either the sportive or the ‘can’t talk to girls group’. Though I say that, a week went by and I was unable to chat to any of the groups that were categorized as such. I could only say it was a sad sight as I found myself by the end of the first week by myself. I wasn’t the only one by myself though as I eyed one other completely opposite side to me. She was not someone that did not look as pretty as the popular girl nor was she ugly like the unpopular. She was someone that stood in the boundaries of ordinary. Honestly I was slightly happy that I wasn’t the only loner, but I realized after looking that she chose to be alone. She was not the same as me. Though her part in my high school life came much later thus I don’t need to focus on it at this moment. Going back on track, by the start of the second week I had thought of the plan to at least listen in on which groups were joining which clubs. This would creep people out but at this time I was desperate. After 3 or 4 weeks of not finding a cliché to enter the class would essentially label you as a loner and distance from you so that it would be impossible to create connections. I had to avoid this route at all costs. I listened in and noticed that the two clubs that were most popular were basketball and soccer. As someone with quite average or slightly above average physique I thought it would be easy to join one of them and enter the friend group that related to it. It seemed fool proof until the moment I did a test trial for it. In the end I was someone that the ball would never go to. Even if I was slightly better athletically than others it did not mean I was good at sports, positioning, dribbling and shooting were all things I was much worse at than other people. In short team games were my weakness. If it was tennis or some other one on one game I would be able to shine, but in a team game I found that no one depended on me because no one knew me. As such this plan essentially backfired as I was shown to be someone incapable. I was honestly thinking of going up to groups and asking them to be my friend, I was getting quite desperate but my grandparents were people that always told me ‘you don’t need a lot of friends, just one that truly matters’ thus I tried my best to not create false friendships. The school week ended in a flash after trying out a few other sport clubs to no avail. After school I was feeling incredibly depressed but even so my sister didn’t care about my worries and dragged me out of my dark room. Looking back maybe she was worried, but her character was always mean to me as she made a habit of kicking me when I was at my worst so I doubted she was. But she took me out to go shopping with her. It was in the city central where I decided to leave her in the female section, I didn’t ditch her, I properly texted her I was leaving, honest. As I walked towards the food court to buy myself a drink I caught sight of one of my class mates. This is where it got weird. It was a completely novel setting. I made it a thing to remember all my classmates in the two weeks we spent together and I noticed that it was one of the classmates from the mixed gender popular groups. The people I didn’t want to interact with. But from where I was I could tell. I couldn’t help retort in my head something along the lines of ‘what kind of novel is this?’ as I saw from the sides. Usually in novels it’s the most beautiful girl in class being annoyed by some boys from another school trying to chat her up, but this situation was the exact opposite. It was the most popular guy in my class being chatted up by girls from an all-girl school that I knew one of my old friends went to (it’s not like I didn’t have friends in my previous school). From what I knew of him he didn’t only interact with his main friend group but was also someone that could speak casually with all the people in class. The first time I saw him I thought ‘Which story main character are you from?’. Though he always talked to people with a smile this time I could tell he was slightly troubled. As I mentioned earlier I’m not a passive person normally and so I thought it would be alright if I just helped him out with this little thing and get it over with. Mostly because I would feel guilty for turning my back on him after seeing him like that, yeah, it was all for my own mental state. Well it went just like what other stories show, I went up to him acting like I was late to meet up. He played along and together we went away from the girls who gave us a weird stare (I’m not like that, don’t misunderstand!). He was surprised after seeing me but not as surprised as me when I found he knew my name. I honestly thought I was going to be someone completely in the background. I felt like crying but I held it in. He told me he was waiting for the other members of his friend group as they were going to buy things for their club. I wondered what it was and asked out of curiosity, but I didn’t think it would flip some weird switch in him. He started talking all enthusiastically about the drama and stage performance club. I had no way of saying anything and it felt like he would talk for the whole day until his phone rang. It turned out it was his friends that joined the club with him messaging that they arrived. Damn popular people! Well it was all good. From talking with him I could tell he was a really good person. Someone who has trouble troubling others and does things for them regardless of whether they ask, that was my impression of him, I didn’t think that this event would affect the majority of my future. I took this event with a grain of salt and thought he would forget about it. I reunited with my angry sister and was punished to hold all her bags. Week 3 of school began and it was do or die, I could probably go for the more arts type of clubs like the art club or building club, but I was honestly not good with those things and my self-confidence had been broken after so many sport club failures. I sat on my table feeling deflated as a rest my body down. Closing my eyes I waited like usual for the teacher to come again, but before I heard the teachers voice, no, before I heard him even walk in someone called out to me. It wasn’t anything that was especially great, just a casual good morning from the classmate I helped out. He only came to say sorry and thanks before leaving to his group. Honestly with just that I was quite happy. Aren’t I sad, don’t you feel sorry for me. Please don’t, I’ll really cry if you do. Well it was just a morning greeting, but even so the little bit of loneliness I had was slowly fading. I will tell you in advance but it’s not like our relationship got better, it was just limited to greetings in the morning and farewells in the end. There was no eating together or anything and we didn’t even exchange phone numbers or email addresses. The relationship between us was quiet and peaceful and in the end I felt happy with that. But I noticed times when I looked at his group he didn’t once look like the person that enthusiastically talked about his club when we met. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little bit depressed that we couldn’t be closer friends. But I remembered he was one of the cool kids, the popular kids in the class. Though it was later verified he was popular in the year level and in some parts of the upper classes. I can honestly say that the way he described the drama club did make me interested in it. With his face smiling all the while that he talked about it I felt my interest in it pique. But I didn’t decide to join. The fact was because I was crap at acting. My voice was stiff and my movements were either too fast or to slow, all those primary school plays were proof of all that. Thus the arts related clubs were not in my list when I tried out during the 2^nd week. But even so I felt an indescribable attraction to it, not because the popular guy was in it, but because of how fun it sounded when he explained it. He described it as ‘collaboration’, a collaboration in which people are assigned roles to fill. Like a sports game, each person had a position they had to fill. Like a sports game the point of the play was to entertain others. And just like a sports game it portrayed the art of competition, not amongst another school but to your peers. Unlike sports clubs the amount of plays done was not many in the year, though a total of one for each term while sports clubs had matches every week. This leads to a term worth of preparing props and costumes as well as practicing your acting. I didn’t know just how hard all this was in actuality. To prepare for a stage performance in one term meant that everything needed to be gathered and perfected in about 10 weeks. It might seem long but it was in truth a rush period each week. That was how he explained it to me. The part in which a person fulfills a particular role to work with others was something I was interested in. Like I said in the sports club, I was the player who the ball never came to. Maybe I just wasn’t used to the positioning and such but in the end in high school you can’t get by in a sports club without knowing the rules. Without those rules you could never become a good enough player. Thus I was not someone they needed. But the drama club, it seemed like a place so easy to understand. It seemed like a place that would teach me how to interact with others. I felt myself being more drawn to it every day. But in the end of the week I didn’t join. My lack of confidence and my inability to step forward and take this chance resulted in me not going. The weekend came and I thought it would be better for me to go to the city. While wondering around the shopping area by myself I found him once again. Though this time he wasn’t being annoyed by anyone, he was just casually shopping. Since I caught sight of him I saw no reason not to say hello since he looked like he was by himself so I went over. That and because he was in the same store I usually go to. We just had a casual greeting in which I asked if he was alone, since he said yes I offered that we look around together in which he replied positively. This guy is a really good guy. I couldn’t help think this once again. We chatted about school and the like and he also casually brought up the fact that I was always alone during lunch and break period which kind of hurt. I knew he mentioned it out of concern though so I didn’t get angry and casually brushed that topic off by mentioning the drama club. I asked him how it was going and if they had made any progress. Just like last time I seemed to have flipped a switch when I mentioned it and once again he talked passionately for a minute or two before stopping. I was wondering what was wrong since he looked dejected but before I could ask he spoke up himself. It seems the other members that joined with him (the usual circle of friends) only joined since he was going. They didn’t share the same type of enthusiasm as he did for the club. Thus he figured it would probably annoy them if he spoke too much about the club. I could kind of see what he meant. Even if you play soccer some do it just for the fun of it and thus have no knowledge of actual teams and famous players. Though this was a little different it was pretty much the same. We spoke a little more and I offered to listen to him talk about the drama club as we went around more places, to be honest it was really fun. Time went by and it was already at the time when stores closed. Before we separated the popular kid mentioned how I was a good listener and thanked me before we separated. Looking back I could tell that this part of my life was when it really changed. If I didn’t have the courage to do it at this time I probably wouldn’t have a chance in the future. I turned towards his direction, our distance wasn’t far and so I called out to him once more. He stopped and I came over to him. With my decision made I decided to tell him. “I’m going to join the drama club starting next week” The look on his face was quite funny but I held myself back from laughing. It was a mix or stupefied and shocked that didn’t suit his looks. It took him a few seconds to process what I said before he was frantically asking why. I remember saying something along the lines of “You make it sound so interesting, of course I would want to join after you say all that’ or something like that. It seemed like he was pretty happy about it as he smiled. We both separated once more “see you on Monday, make sure you apply in the morning” is what I remember him saying as he walked off. I wasn’t too sure of it but I though his walking pace was a little faster than before. Well the Monday morning came and I went to the drama club to join. To put it lightly, I was rejected. The reason was because it was pretty late in the game by now, as the 4^th week of the school term it was expected for us to be in the clubs we wanted by either the end of the 2^nd or 3^rd week. Well I could see their point and decided there was no use as I heard them say I could join in the start of next term. While I was going to walk out dejected I heard loud footsteps outside the door. I stopped moving as I noticed they were getting louder before someone loudly opened the door. To my surprise it was the popular kid. He looked a little tired but even so he saw me and showed a casual smile and greeting before talking to the president/ captain/ leader of the drama club. I didn’t know what was going on but in the next second I was stunned. In summary the leader of the drama club was the popular kid’s older sister. He asked her kindly to let me join and after a bit of negotiating it was decided I could join, but being so late in joining I was tasked without being able to have any active role in either acting, make-up artist or any of those other roles. It was also decided I would be made into a gofer for some of the members and performed manual labor like moving props and such. But total I was just extra hands and was made to watch for the term. I was honestly fine with that but it seemed like the popular kid wanted me to be more part of it. Well before they started yelling at each other I cut in to say that the conditions were ok. It was my fault for joining so late to begin with. Well with that settled I was officially part of the club. The two of us walked towards our classroom and talked, though it was mostly me listening to him talk and fill me in on what the club was doing and which play we were going to do. Well, by the end of the day I found myself a friend. Though nothing changed in class as I was still alone I found it was fine this way. Because after school the two of us would meet and go the club together, if you’re wondering what happened to his group of friends they always arrived a little later.

Well this is pretty much the end of the recount. It was pretty long but every part of this was essential to some of my best memories made in high school. Though it felt pretty short it was also a surprisingly long period of time. Well I hoped you enjoyed this, it wasn’t meant to be anything completely funny or dramatic. It was just something I thought maybe others would relate to.