Nature of things

Nature of things

A Poem by M.a. Benjamin
"

Wrote this in thailand

"
How beautiful the Fire's embers are
Dashed up in the air like burning stars
Chasing specters of memory
Through sprawling fields of history
On boughs of a brand new day's embrace
Enveloped in a warmth once frozen in place
Caught up in a rush as these visions unwind
To collect them up until the coming of time

© 2010 M.a. Benjamin


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This poem makes me think of long nights beside bonfires with faithful friends. How those tiny sparks become the "specters of memory" you speak of. If only we could catch them and bring them down to illuminate the dark corners of our days. Or maybe we can as hint at in your final line.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

i really enjoyed this. I can appreciate the substance of its simplicity

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is a nice piece; elegant, if you will. However, it's fluff. Yes, I know, you have the concept of rebirth and time and new beginnings and endings and cycles, but is there anything new?

You obviously have talent, yes. You have nice phrasing and diction, but you write this so passively and it projects so little power that after reading it, there's nothing different. I want poetry to make me think, even if it's just about how different something can be looked at, about how well I can relate to other human beings. I just want some thought process after I'm done. This really didn't give me much. It was there, and then I was done and I could move on with my life.

Try projecting a bit more power. Play with your sentence structure, your punctuation and maybe some more original concepts or wordplay or figurative language, and I think this would be much, much stronger. Just a thought. Nice job, regardless.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Bello!

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is really elegant. Reminds me of a gentle winter breeze

Posted 13 Years Ago


Beautiful piece of writing. Very enjoyable.

Posted 13 Years Ago


cool write kinda has my flow in poetry, I give you props on structure of liunes and how they flow...

Posted 13 Years Ago


Wonderful imagery! Took me back to my childhood nights around the fire!
I especially like the line,
"Dashed up in the air like burning stars"!
Very vivid and creative! Wonderful piece! :D

Posted 13 Years Ago


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:)
The people below are correct, the imagery is beautfiul.
A calm lovely flow for a calm passing thought...



Posted 13 Years Ago


I've read it three times and liked it more each time

Posted 13 Years Ago


The things I felt as I read this poem was pure joy! You did a great job for the readers to see in their minds what this poem is about!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on November 1, 2010
Last Updated on November 1, 2010

Author

M.a. Benjamin
M.a. Benjamin

NY



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