All In Vain

Just a poem that was spawned from the vengeful side of myself. I shall dedicate it to the ones who created this feeling within me.

You will never catch the light,

for you never dare to step into it.

It shall reveal your evil.

Your misdeed shall be your everlasting chain,

wrapped around your body, your prison;

tightened around your throat,

as you try to gasp lies of your innocence.

You can’t escape.

Your body and mind, immersed in the bottomless pool of vanity.

You will have no need for air,

you will choke on your pride.

Struggle as you might, it will be all in vain.

You will never escape.

Image: http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&global=1&q=chains#/d6iohz

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Author's Note

Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism welcomed.

Reviews

[Lost in Wonderland]

Oh my gosh this was incredible, filled with spite and dark imagery, I could do nothing but read it out loud. Its written in a way that you could actually go up to whoever makes you feel this was and yell it at them! I loved it, great subject, word choice and wonderfully written. 100 my friend:)
God Bless
~Mickey

[Sirius King]

you have described what hell would be like for a vain person, in a short but perfect way, good poem!

[Mia]

"I shall dedicate it to the ones who created this feeling within me." They have no idea what they've done! This is very dark and twisty, I love it!
"Your misdeed shall be your everlasting chain,
wrapped around your body, your prison;
tightened around your throat,
as you try to gasp lies of your innocence."
You have a way with words!

[Xerclipse]

This is really dark, stepping on the light, and choke in pride. Nice poem!!

[Dr. Wood ?]

this is one of your best I feel

[allie_arrowz]

wow, very intense. i loved how you express the way you feel, because it makes the reader feel it, too. great writing

[writingurl14]

very well written and i really enjoyed reading it, i love all the descripted words and the way they paint a picture

[Owlgirl]

Wow! Great job! Very well written!