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Compartment 114
Compartment 114
The loved & the estranged

The loved & the estranged

A Poem by Kruppz
"

The loved & the estranged

"
o romeo,

my soul longs to romance thine
my fingers with thine entwined
our eyes shalt be locked forever
the time we begin our journey together 

o romeo,

thou hast disappeared like a new moon
thy disappearance hath put me in gloom
a little too longer dragged-on phase
before i see thy bright moon-like face 

o jijoe,

Thy eyes speak of broken promises, broken trust
for all thou hath wanted was thrust for thy lust
but as i owe to keep promises made unto thee
until i do so, i couldn't privilege of being as free

o jijoe,

the loser that i am as i fell for thee; i fell in life
when thy eyes conveyed of rosy thorns & knife 
so now if ye stab me from the front, i won't rebel
but to take away thy pain i dare even go to hell

© 2012 Kruppz


Author's Note

Kruppz
Thanks.

My Review

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Featured Review

Firstly, the third line of the very first stanza states 'for forever', I believe this should be 'forever'. In the second stanza you write 'disapperance', as I'm not sure whether this should be Old English or not, it might possibly be 'disappearance'.
Now for the praise! The imagery is very romantic and your use of Old English is very well applied. Certainly well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kruppz

11 Years Ago

i typed in a haste and got it wrong. You're right it's "disappearance"



Reviews

The bird that flies in the air doesn't leave a line in the sky - Zen

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Use of old english give this an extra edge :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kruppz

11 Years Ago

Thanks. Wrote after so long.
Firstly, the third line of the very first stanza states 'for forever', I believe this should be 'forever'. In the second stanza you write 'disapperance', as I'm not sure whether this should be Old English or not, it might possibly be 'disappearance'.
Now for the praise! The imagery is very romantic and your use of Old English is very well applied. Certainly well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kruppz

11 Years Ago

i typed in a haste and got it wrong. You're right it's "disappearance"

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223 Views
3 Reviews
Added on September 3, 2012
Last Updated on September 4, 2012
Tags: romantic love, betrayal

Author

Kruppz
Kruppz

India



About
I love music and writing and movies! This site helps me keep track of my work, reflect and see how I've grown as an artist over the years. more..

Writing
Let Love win Let Love win

A Poem by Kruppz