Love is our War

Love is something we have to fight for

Through the clamor of this world

They cover up the truth

You can't hear what I say

They dull your senses with their lies

I keep wishing that you will listen soon

Yet the storm keeps silencing me

I'm such a fool for making a stand

But I will never give up

I'll hold my megaphone and yell

Though I'm loosing this battle

I shall give my all to win the war

Though my heartbeat is fading

There will be nothing stopping me

Our love is worth this fight

Our love is worth my life

War drifts us apart

Preventing us from being together

But only one last a lifetime

Love and hate blind us

I can't see a thing with my cloudy eyes

And I start to loose hope

But your love whispers to me our vision,

Of the future planned for us

With your embrace I awaken

Finally I see

And with a kiss we're set free

Reviews

[nevermindfan1991]

I'm not fan of love poems generally because they usually deal with broad topic in the same way and this poem is really no different.

Through the clamor of this world
It's becoming so blurry
You can't hear what I say
They dull your senses

What becomes blurry? I'm not sure what you are trying to express in the stanza. i think perhaps you should reword this sentence.

I keep wishing that you will listen soon
Yet the storm keeps silencing me
I'm such a fool

This lacks rhythm unless that was your intention then good... I feel this stanza does not relate to the first. It seems random.

But I will never give up
I'll hold my megaphone and yell
Though I'm loosing this battle
I shall give my all to win the war

Better than the last two stanzas, but it still feels very generic. Perhaps make the megaphone a symbol for your persistence and tenacity for this loved one.

War tears us apart
But only one last a lifetime
Love and hate blind us

But isn't your poem supporting love. Your introduce an idea that contrasts with the whole poem. It shows the reader that the writer does not where to go with this poem.

With my cloudy eyes
Your love whispers to me our vision
Of the future planned for us.

This is fine.. It refers to the first stanza but only because of the use of the word cloudy.

This poem needs to be more vivid and original. You need to be more descriptive and capture the true feeling inside your heart.

[MoriartyMesa]

IMO, this could be an awesome song, these guys would need to play background, actually the opening of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLZvJ_rtZO8&ob=av3e made me think this would make this an awesome song.