words of a sea

 

Words of a sea

Words of a sea spoken in close whispers

It is an avid proponent of sky.

I wish I could lift my face to sky, blue.

Instead I decide to watch the death-pain

of a jelly fish spread and scattered on sand.

The playful pebbles stare at my wet foot,

they soon will be known to them at least for

this weekend. And, after that millions of more

prints will mingle and blend into time, undisturbed.

Reviews

[alternative_be]

Oh I really like this!
The image of the sea, whispering words, the sky: very dreamy and then you use the images of the jelly fish, footprints and pebbles, remembering us that decay is only one minute away, that nothing is eternal and that we should, cease the moment and treasure it in our mind.
You have got a very poetic mind. Sometimes however, it would not hurt to check your grammar. Do not be worried, there are no major issues here, sometimes some little missing words that may interfere with the meaning of your beautiful words. You do have a great vocabulary, which is a joy to read. Do not let ommitting words as simple as 'a' or 'the' spoil your beautiful work and great effort!

[chord0]

beautifully written, great poem about ocean life. Good imagery, interesting nature poem.

[lori c]

as the sea is one of my soul-restoring get aways, i had to read this one. memories are called forth as i see the pebbles, hear the waves, watch the jelly fish and the tide play in the sand. i'm jones-ing for the beach now.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Vivid descriptive imagery. Another good write from you.

Nicely done

[Bhavya Kaushik]

wow! What a great subject to write upon!
Brilliant usage of language ..

[R J Askew]

I wish I could blend into time...as it is it crashes past and I don't feel as if I belong to it. There is an enviable serenity in your poem. If only!

[George Love]

Very well done here. Love the imagery used!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Wonderfully descriptive in so few words - I see the footprints in the sand being washed away with time then replaced by countless others to follow yours...well done. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[mysticgmekeepr]

Great poem. The first two lines took my hand and escorted me to the end....lovely journey.

[Justin Tobey]

Excellent! I absolutely love it! I like these lines:

"The playful pebbles stare at my wet foot,
they soon will be known to them, at least for
this weekend. And, after that, millions of more
prints will mingle and blend into time, undisturbed."

They really gave a sense of unity. Great write!

[Wildfleour]

Just fantastic.............there is nothing more I can say except BRAVO.