I'm Broken

I don't want to hurt
anymore than you
already made me
he tries to make
me forget you
but you made such
an impact that i can't
get rid of you

im still searching
searching for my
one and only guy

i prayed for you today
in the church on the west side
i asked him to help you
to under stand that
i still love you and want you back

i know that having you could
hurt me so i started to move
on today i am praying to god
that i can forget you and
find someone safer for
my mind, my soul, and most
of all my body

Reviews

[Kaelyn Shea]

aww thank you hun ill edit it later but thank you!!

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Ms. Shea,

I just felt like reviewing this piece because... well, I felt like it. You need to have more confidence in your emotions and stanza it. Four stanzas is a norm but not required. Remember, use capitalization and be as formal as you can when you write because you never know who is watching. Remove redundant words like in the fourth stanza and sixth line it could be rephrased, "for my mind, soul; yet most of all, my body." Grammar doesn't change the topic of this poem which is a nice one. But don't use the title of this as, "I'm Broken." A more fitting title would be like... "Prayers" or "Praying For You" or "Security." Anyways, that one is my opinion. Always write to the best of your ability, but never become an elitist and never bottle yourself up when someone critiques you. People can either critique you out of hatred or out of love. :P Thank you for sharing. 8.4/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[JustWantLove]

The depth of love will forever echo the melodies of every rock thrown at our hearts! A wonderful spill of soul and emotions! Thank you for sharing with us!