My Greedy Lover

I wanted to look at depression from a different angle, create something a little different than what is normally written about depression and mental health.

you

you are like

my greedy lover

seducer of my mornings

you would make me your slave!

given your chance, you

would selfishly keep me to yourself today

ensconced in cool, tangled sheets

and plumped

within the confines of soft pillows

enveloped in darkness

embraced

in your velvet warmth

unabashedly undressed

hair freshly tousled

from dawn to dusk

to satisfy your innate need

to control me

body and soul

no words, no sounds

no need for sustenance

just a lover's greed

you'll lick at me, teasing me softly

beckoning me to join you

for another go round

how you tempt me!

Oh Depression

you'll not have your wicked way with me today

Reviews

[Tree]

I like the rhythm of this poem, you are thinking out loud and the reader today is privy. That moment when the world outside has no meaning for two starving lovers is artfully captured. And that last verse, (though you might want to consider trimming a little here) sealed the deal, in helping to understand and relate to that universal dilemma.

[Ken Simm.]

This works on so many different levels. I was of one thought, (or rather several) all the way to the denoument and then speaking as a sufferer I was bathed in ice cold water. A remarkable write.

[LA Lorena]

sorry for the shock of the ice water, but I am glad to hear that it *hit* you. It's what I was hoping to achieve.

[Leslie Philibert]

I think this is very good. I work as a social worker with young people who have problems of this kind, and the way you describe it and the way you are optimistic in the last lines is exactly what I like to hear - a brave, honest write, good work.

[LA Lorena]

thank you Leslie. I appreciate your words.

[Sheila Kline]

To stand before depression and face it head on takes courage, and tremendous will as this enemy of happiness has such power to completely rule mind, body and soul! You have certainly given "it" a run for its money with your twist at the end....very clever ending! One may succumb to the power of such a foe, but with the proper armor, victory may come!!
I ascertain you have battled and whipped it to submission, or know of someone who has been in the clutches of this monster and has been victorious! Bravo!!! It is not an easy battle to wage!!!!

[Jo March]

Ah very clever. Didn't see that one 'coming' at all! Very powerful imagery, that is why it is such a shock when the reader discovers it's true meaning. I was drawn and entranced with your words the whole way through! Well done!

[emmajoy]

Seems you've covered (uncovered?!) more than one subject in this write, part sympathetic, part amused i am. and admiring of both sides of the coin.

Happy month, friend... so good to have you back again, for various reasons .. eg. yes, your impeccable taste!

[LA Lorena]

LOL. one never quite knows what they might inadvertently uncover here eh? ;) here's to good taste and those that read the small print! thank you for your review and for READING my poem. Why do I feel another rant coming on? :)

[emmajoy]

the time of the year?! tis the choice of two for the price of one, or one for the price of two .. depending on the label .. good grief, woman, even i'm impressed with that smigeon .. smidgen .. bit of logic!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

So I wonder to myself does this excellent write reflect a lived experience or do you work in or know the mental health system? If the former you have the strength to fight it off.

[LA Lorena]

Thank you for the kind words John, and for taking the time to share them

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

It is hard for us that don't suffer from depression to really understand what goes on with those that do... but your words sound like you understand very well... and you did it with a creative flare.

[Ayvid N]

Very clever! You succeeded in the marvelous twist. I was fooled...Really worth a read!

[LA Lorena]

thank you. It's nice to see that some people actually read and pay attention!

[DrD]

I like how everything is done with innuendos without the hard core vocabulary others sometimes use. This is suggestive and yet candid but all the while in good taste as poetry should be. An excellent job.

[LA Lorena]

Thanks Doc, if nothing else can be said of me in my lifetime, it will be stated thatI have mastered impeccable taste. :)

[DrD]

Of course, that's why you're my friend