Those damn stoic masks of stone that we choose to wear do little to hide the frail fragments of what lies behind our eyes. In the place of the aching, those feelings of hunger devour any sense of peace for what was. I hope this comes from your brilliant imagination, sweet poet, and not from biography.
'I walk a different ocean's shores
yet those breezes ever carry
the co-mingled and lingering scent of love'
OMG, that made me heady, this is my favorite of your's so far LA. It smarts in places that you made me revisit with your hauntingly beautiful words. Past revisits us on so many unexpected avenues. I love the ending, simply "There". It's really a work of art, you've outdone yourself.
Nice choice of perfume too, just saying. ;-)
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thanks Frieda. I appreciate your kind review, and I am glad you like it. It was a tough poem to wri.. read moreThanks Frieda. I appreciate your kind review, and I am glad you like it. It was a tough poem to write, but then those that we feel most deeply tend to be that way. As to the perfume.... it's what I wear and who I am. ;)
Encased in a self imposed persona yet still you seep, filter and enter me as I have no other choice. Very nicely done. This is beautiful, the longing, the desires, shoruded in the pain.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
thank you Jack. I'm glad you like this one, as it was a struggle to get out. It's nice to know when.. read morethank you Jack. I'm glad you like this one, as it was a struggle to get out. It's nice to know when something we write resonates.
When memories are as sharp as this, they are long too fade - perhaps they never shall fade! You have captured the power exuded in your time of "togetherness" with recall of the scent of it, the feel of it, the ache for it to return!
You have done an excellent job of allowing the reader to sense the intense yearning felt with a perpetual rerun of charged atoms calling for "AGAIN'!!
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
I'm still looking for the furnace Sheila. I know damn well I used to have one, but for the life of .. read moreI'm still looking for the furnace Sheila. I know damn well I used to have one, but for the life of me, can't recall where I left it.
There is too much in this piece that I love to cut and paste my favorite part and make a specific comment; it is that good.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
thanks kimmer. I think my breathing has resumed to normal now.
12 Years Ago
It's funny you say that, because I inhaled when you wrote "inhale" and I was like...read read read, .. read moreIt's funny you say that, because I inhaled when you wrote "inhale" and I was like...read read read, beautiful, brilliant, I should be exhaling by now, read read, read..."Exhale" phew! ;-)
Love still felt, even from a very long distance. I know it's serious when I see words like "ache, yearn, and electric air."
Well done.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
LMAO! I can be serious too ya know! there are many sides to me, I'm just selective about which vie.. read moreLMAO! I can be serious too ya know! there are many sides to me, I'm just selective about which views I allow out and when. :)
I knew from the first "My-ku" you were a highly intelligent person, with whom I would regard with mu.. read moreI knew from the first "My-ku" you were a highly intelligent person, with whom I would regard with much care. As for the apology, it was as much to Jacob as to you. I placed the thought there without thinking. I don't "butt-in" like that.( My Southern upbringing demanded the apology.)
12 Years Ago
Awww, thank you. Can I give you a big hug for that?
12 Years Ago
I have always believed that hugs are free and should be given at every opportunity... with everyone... read moreI have always believed that hugs are free and should be given at every opportunity... with everyone. So, "Yes, please!"
Heightened senses draw us in and sink into our memories. I still remember the smell of my first girlfriend. Things like that never leave and can torture us depending on how deep the relationship was. Good poem.
great line...no matter how much we try to distance ourselves from past loves....especially one thought of as a soulmate, the hunger for that person just grows...
they won't let go...like a wave that just keeps pelting the shore over and over again, causing our sandy resolve to depleat.
beautiful poem with such longing.
jacob
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
I'm glad you like that line, although the word "odor" does not sit well with me. I'm still ponderin.. read moreI'm glad you like that line, although the word "odor" does not sit well with me. I'm still pondering alternatives. any suggestions?
12 Years Ago
scent?
12 Years Ago
yes, just take it out and read it...it still makes perfect sense without the word..
tha.. read moreyes, just take it out and read it...it still makes perfect sense without the word..
that way you would not have to repeat "scent" so close together.
but i like odor..because i see a nice paradox...odor thought of as a bad thing..cumulus soft and goo.. read morebut i like odor..because i see a nice paradox...odor thought of as a bad thing..cumulus soft and good.
12 Years Ago
Sorry, just slipped out without thinking.
12 Years Ago
thank you both. Michael, STOP apologizing! I already gave Jacob the same lecture weeks ago, but for.. read morethank you both. Michael, STOP apologizing! I already gave Jacob the same lecture weeks ago, but for your benefit, I have no issue with suggestions, criticism, or having errors pointed out to me. In fact, I appreciate it. You need not walk on egg shells around me. :)
Hello, I'm known as LA or LL. I am a bit of an enigma, but I like it that way. I'm on a bit of a hiatus from the site for now, as life has gotten a little busy, but I shall return.
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