Adolescent Vertigo

I like to think that a lot of people can relate to this. Let me know what you think!

 

God I fell in love again

But descended into dark

My fragile zeal wisped into smoke

My pluck dissolved to dust

The lights went like extinguished flame

I blindly walked the paths

I knew or thought I knew

I want to sense your touch.

 

What's that? A light? I hear your voice

Dulcet echoes calling my name

'I love you too' - My heart ignites

Banishing the pain

Alas, three months, I start to dim

I know you like my life

As if we are as one, controlled

By you, my freedom slowly dies

 

So then we talk - 'It’s me, not you

I don't think we can work'

Doling out clichés, the status quo

In the standard way, we separate.

But now I’m gone, adolescent trauma

I feel the pangs of lust

But I see another standing there

Smitten, I can’t refrain

 

God I fell in love again.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is classic teenage infatuation.."i love you" said and then forgotten.

over and over, in and out of love or is it just teen lust?

real love i suppose comes much later...and if we are lucky, there is also the passion to go along with it.

this is such a good write.."doling out cliches, the status quo"

that could be said for love poetry...often so cliched...but not yours, this is smart and easily relatable.

jacob

[s y e]

Wow. This was fabulous! So relate-able!
Alot of emotion, well done!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Brilliant. Lewis, this made me remember my first heartbreak as a teenager. It hurt so bad, I wanted to die. I had never felt such pain. I was told by an adult that it was not the last time I would be hurt but that I would also fall in love again. I am so glad she was right. Keep writing. I will be sharing this one.

[The Nameless]

Sounds familiar - just spoke to a friend today who had more boyfriends in one year than I'd probably have in my life :P

Really cute, light poem. I like that it's straight forward.

Last line - perfect ending.

[Deron Alexis]

lol my friend changes girlfriend every week just like this this is the exact cycle captured quite accurately love the vocabulary you used in this one true your variety of words is always to be marveled at but this time the line Dulcet echoes calling my name really good writing keep it up

[Zizzy Douglas]

Oh my God,i'm in luv again.........! hahahaha,sounding lyk u've bn in luv for ten times or more this yr.....its a nice one..,nd sily too.. Goodluk the nxt time you for in luv nd who knws? -mayb this time it'll me...

[sithlordjp]

Oh... I remember it well! Thank you for this trip down memory lane with your incisive words! Love that you ended the piece the same way it began, hinting at the ever repeating loop in which we are stuck while going through all this... Well played!

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

Thank you!