Social Anxiety (working title)

I stare into my lap when I'm in a crowded room.
I create elaborate fantasies of lovers
and friends
who would never turn their backs on me.
I whisper to these companions late at night
when the rest of the world is sleeping.
I tell them my secrets, secure in the fact that
these figments of imagination will, at least,
never abandon me.

They are the ones I tell
about the boy I loved
once,
who swiftly smashed my heart to bits.
The one whose house I used to sit outside in the wee
dark hours of the morning,
knowing he was sleeping inside, and wondering if he
was dreaming about me.

I tell them of the woman I thought I'd be by now,
and we laugh, bursting guffaws, at my utter inability to become
anyone of import.

I tell one that I think I might love him,
and he strokes my face, ever so gently,
and I truly feel the warmth of his palm against my cheek.
His embrace is more real than the
nugget of loneliness growing in my heart,
more real than the single reflection in the mirror.
More real than my thready voice echoing hollow through the room.

Reviews

[Alessander]

I like it. It feels very lonely, almost like the speaker is having an out of body experience, viewing her life from overhead. Don't know why I got that image, just me I suppose.

I appreciate the little details, shows skill.

Like the way you isolate "once" in its own line to draw emphasis to it, thus creating more pathos.
Or the diction like "guffaws" or even the stanza breaks which seem logical.

details. 1. The overall tone is somewhat somber, but some of the diction like "wee" and "nugget" are somewhat playful. If this was your aim, then cool. If you really wanted to create something darker, then maybe other words. (also do nuggets grow?)

As for the title, dunno, but like I said, to me it's like an outbody experience, so maybe something like "phantasm" or "figments", "whispers" or "mirrors" (all imagery that appears in your poem)? dunno, just a thought :P but I think the poem does a really good job of conveying the utter loneliness and accompanying escapism and is really well done. Enjoyed reading it.

[Alucard6336]

I had to search so many pages to find anything worth reading let alone commenting on so you should be honored.

Anyways, I'm Bryan for starters.

Your work, it's sweet and sorrowful in content. It shows of pain and anguish, and that's what life is, pain. It's a great piece, one I can relate to, at least to some extent.

Many here lack a persona. You should find one in both life and writing. What I'm telling you is you have talent. Aim for the stars.

And hey, you should friend me. If you send me a message, even better. Good chance someone like me not only has guts but a heck of a lot of talent, as you.

Also, I might add I also have social anxiety. I have a bad habit of thinking people as an energy source and not a person. It's weird though. I do a lot of great writing which is manifested as the inverse of social interaction.

I%m not sure if you'll soak this all in, but I'll bet it will for you.