18 years

This is one look at my life at that point in life. This is a beautiful piece of literature.

  Eighteen Years

 

 Beating my head against the wall

Pounding my fists against the steel

Guide my very best punch into the cold brick

Break my hand in every place

Diminish my skull piece by piece

Render myself useless

I can't breathe

Staring at the sky dreaming of something better

Unattainable as the allusive oxygen
Beautiful is the unnoticed and insignificant

Inadequately living, insufficiently gasping at unrewarding breathes

I've spent my life trying

Just trying to do better, smack myself in the face as I've wasted time, and painstaking energy

I can't breathe  

I sit awake in the heart stopping cold that burns at it's best

In the blistering heat that chills I bleed direct sensations of abuse 

Through both I ponder queries, yes practice omniscience yet incredibly limited  

I Hate it, so much so

On the way to the top of the world I'll jump to an unforgiving peace

The aliments of negativity choke the best of me

She is stimulated at my ex fixation

A hurtful grip that binds the collapsing airways to extend the suffering

I live in the world of the people that enjoy my asthmatic behavior

City on hardest and heartless beautiful is the darkest 

Do you have any idea what it takes to capture a breath

Don't tell me to stop. I CAN'T BREATHE

With all I employ how ineffective

I can't breathe in here

The toxin of my life

Stepping on the edge taste the sweet breathes of fresh air

I can't breathe out there

Watch me descend into a refreshing escape

Please don't

I got to. I can't breathe. 

 

 The boons of insanity are imagination, creativity, a world of your own.

The consequences are dyer.