The Whitetail Burglar

I only shoot to kill my food

Not for pride or pleasure

I hunt the meat we all can eat

Not for a mantlepiece treasure

But late one night I was lying in bed

And someone was at my door

I jumped to my feet like a ninja in heat

And crawled across my floor

It was dark inside my livingroom

But I could see a silhouette

The next thing I saw took my breath

It's something I'll never forget

A deer was wearing a ski mask

His antlers poked out the top

I jumped to my feet as fast as I could

And yelled, "Bambi you better stop"

He turned around and began to charge

I screamed for my wife to get back

He pulled a knife and cut my arm

With a rudolph sneak attack

He chased me down the hallway

The bathroom my only hope

But when I tried to get inside

He lassoed me with his rope

He tied me up and robbed my house

My wife was under the bed

He went through all of our dresser drawers 

Her underwear on top of his head

He finally left, the house was a mess

There were hoofprints everywhere

He took the remote to our color Tv

And even our silverware

Before he left he pointed and laughed

And called me a crazy old geezer

But my wife is scared and cannot rest

Until I put him in my freezer

Reviews

[Rhea752]

hahahaha that was actually very funny. you brightened my day.

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Haha! Excellent,whimsical poem. I loved it :)

[Muse]

ooooh ugh....gag.....the ending...BRILLIANT! :D