Dark Secrets

Dark Secrets

A Poem by Legacy
"

Lights Out... You can't find what you can't see. I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized

"

DARK SECRETS

 

These eyes Tainted and Scarred,

The Heart restless behind bars,

A Soul lost between then and now

 

I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized,

A Shadow within materializes

Unaware, there’s no time to prepare,

Unleashing its fury for all to bear

 

Strength it feeds from those who care,

Twisting and turning words and stares

Form is now what I once was,

It’s Poison if any… One of Love

 

Shadow now I, fight I try...

For those I hurt, my words are lies

Understand I cry, I feel your pain,

Ball and Chain, I am restrained

 

Pleasure filled, Darkness slips away,

Face left to those I've betrayed

Strength to hold on, You reach for my hand,

Smiling and Scarred, Your eyes Understand

 

SHADOW lingers and laughs within,

Your LOVE inside, he cannot win

 

Legacy

© 2011 Legacy


Author's Note

Legacy
What is your Dark Secret - visit and enter yours today http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/-Volume-1%2C-Book-2--Dark-Secrets/13548/

P.S. Re-read and between the lines

Legacy

My Review

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Featured Review

I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!

Great job, keep it up!


Posted 12 Years Ago


8 of 8 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Excellent.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 4 people found this review constructive.

Nicely done. I love the concept behind the lines here. Mystifying

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I did re- read this trying to understand. I don't have the best grip on it but it did hit me kind of hard.. I understand to some degree where you're coming from.. :/ Nice rhythm to your poem. I think this may be one of your best!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Very strong emotional poem. Deep and easy to relate to.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This seems very dark, but quite interesting. Is the person referring to their actual shadow, or the darkness inside themselves? Hmmm...this one will take some thought to figure out. Excellent work, though.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

THE BEST!! it's gr8 and thoughtfull

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 3 people found this review constructive.

VERY NICE :) Dark and wonderfully written :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Your words flow nice and smooth.
I guess I am shallow, I JUST can not understand poetry!
I need something to hit me in the face for me to understand it.
Keep writing!


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

So love a good dark read and you have done well here my friend ... brilliant write :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

An interesting piece of work. I did enjoy it, and a lot of the writing is delightful. I really like the lines; "A Soul lost between then and now". It is often with a sense of numb detachment that a person looks at the degradation of their beliefs over a a period of time during which an emotional trauma is experienced. Though I also might use some of the punctuation to better effect. I like the line; "Shadow now I"; but what, if read as a sentence, does "fight I try" mean? Perhaps it might work better as; "Shadow now I; fight, I try"? And I want to ask why you are addressing a plural audience (those)? And finally, just out of curiosity, why is love a masculine entity (I have theories but I'd like to know your reasoning)?

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 8, 2011
Last Updated on July 14, 2011
Tags: Secrets, Dark, art, groups, music, radio, shopping, love, funerals, home, news, games, blogs, side, message, horror, events, zombie, authors, pride, vampires, zombies, funeral, goth, haunted, clubs, death, life, living, mom, dad

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Legacy
Legacy

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