Dark Secrets

Lights Out... You can't find what you can't see. I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized

DARK SECRETS

 

These eyes Tainted and Scarred,

The Heart restless behind bars,

A Soul lost between then and now

 

I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized,

A Shadow within materializes

Unaware, there’s no time to prepare,

Unleashing its fury for all to bear

 

Strength it feeds from those who care,

Twisting and turning words and stares

Form is now what I once was,

It’s Poison if any… One of Love

 

Shadow now I, fight I try...

For those I hurt, my words are lies

Understand I cry, I feel your pain,

Ball and Chain, I am restrained

 

Pleasure filled, Darkness slips away,

Face left to those I've betrayed

Strength to hold on, You reach for my hand,

Smiling and Scarred, Your eyes Understand

 

SHADOW lingers and laughs within,

Your LOVE inside, he cannot win

 

Legacy

Author's Note

What is your Dark Secret - visit and enter yours today http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/-Volume-1%2C-Book-2--Dark-Secrets/13548/

P.S. Re-read and between the lines

Legacy

Reviews

[Luis Gabriel]

I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!

Great job, keep it up!

[Tina Kline]

This is great, love the imagery and the flow. This is a lot of pain and darkness running through it.

[ivizarx]

pretty awesome. congragulations is deserved for wonderful work on imagery.
the only constructive criticism I can offer, because it perplexes me when reading is that the rhyme scheme is fairly odd to me, and if it were constructed around one at all, it might be the only thing I could say that might needed work on
(idk why, I'm just one of those if something catches my eye or doesn't sound right I tend to focus on it)

[BlackMoonRising]

Abosolutely amazing. Actually amazing is an understatement! This was just beyond amazing! I'm glad I took the time to read.

[Lane-roe]

My favourite stanzas are the third and fourth-it encapsulates the conflict between the two forces really well. A very intense poem, but wonderfully written :)

[Raspberry Rebel]

I've read this so many times...
It made me think of a prisoner...
How his loved one still visits, understands, yet the man she sees is no longer the same, has been changed/lost in the system...I dare say I'll be back again to read this...it's very compelling :)

[trainwreck]

Pretty awesome. Great job on this work. Keep it up.

[H. Davidson]

Wow, this is beautiful and dark. You did such a good job with imagery. Just wonderful!

[~Artemis~]

I filled epicized(my new word) just from reading this. Truly an amazing work of art.

[Sara]

The rhyme scheme used paired with the imagery and feeling really makes this poem embed itself in my mind. What really stands out to me though is:

I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized,
A Shadow within materializes
Unaware, there’s no time to prepare,
Unleashing its fury for all to bear

Those four lines caught my attention and are, quite frankly, stuck in my head and I am very much adoring it. You are quite the poet =)