Introduction to my life

Considering myself an average teen,seeing my creative inner child's dreams fall apart and going through my first steps toward what i know my adulthood would be

I have finally reached the age i always admired.18 was always the age i thought i would look, feel and be my best . whether it is being easygoing and fun, or feeling comfortable in my skin or just finding someone i cherish and can feel myself with . I was unable to realise any of these things , they seemed so simple in the past but still i am lost. i find myself stuck in nowhere .i'm not happy, i m not sad ,but this should be alright since it has always been this way, at least i m comfortable ,or was . this is not the case anymore. i m nervous ,constantly , i m always haunted by the darkest thoughts . i look back on the 18 years i survived and cannot find a moment where i really lived . was i meant to live such a life ? a purposeless,boring , sad sad life . i am just another nobody who when will leave will be grieved for a week and forgotten for a lifetime , it is sad but true . it is the reality ,the reality i ve learnt to deal with too soon.the reality that always made me stuck in the comfort zone unable to take any risks . i have always wondered what happened to me , what turned me into this pitiful person i am at the moment ? is it the moment my dad announced to me he ll be divorcing my mum ? or is it the moment i have seen his and my mum's ugly side ? realising that i have existed in the unhealthiest relationship that is bound to fail ? or is it realising that i m not that smart , not that beautiful,not that talented ? by this time i should already realise that this life is bound to end , probably by my own hands but no. i am still here i am dealing with this anguish the way i have always did : denial. if i m alive , it s only cause i cant die and if i am hanging on , it is because i am still not ruined , still...

© 2018 Lessthanaverage

Author's Note

I have zero self confidence and i am very self conscious so for now be nice i beg you

My Review

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Featured Review

Frank Miles

It takes tremendous courage to face oneself. You have done that very well here and your words bite and shout. It takes as much courage to love yourself as to judge yourself. But you have that in you too, I think. Because it takes a big heart both to hurt and to hope and what I see here on the page is a big heart.

It's tough to be sensitive, but it opens the world to you in ways that others can never feel. Be proud of it. There is only ever today, and today can be won though honesty and love. Peace.