Used!

A young man gets used.

I guess I was in twelfth grade, a lovely young lady approached me in the smoking area in back of the school. The usual small talk, nothing memorable, but she asks me to go to a party Friday night. She looked sweet and sincere, so I accepted, she and her parents would pick me up at 8:00 pm.

Next evening the doorbell rings, she brings me to the car, I get in, introductions are made. I meet her parents, they seem agitated by my presence, but not rude. The drive to the party was quiet and cold, but I was with a beautiful girl and focused on that.

My date's father sternly reminded her, that she was to call for a ride back home at midnight.

We go into the party, my date races down the stairs, I cautiously follow as I am unfamiliar to the people that are there. Princess darts into a pool room with a game in progress, she then jumps into the arms of another guy and gives him a great big sloppy french kiss.

Feeling like a tuna inside a dry oxygen tank, I tried to make sense of the situation. I realized I had been used.

There was no one at the party that I recognized so I just went home. It was the first time I felt hot and cold, sad and happy, alive and dead, total confusion to my emotional state. The sky was purple, the sidewalk was gray, I knew where I was but didn't recognize the homes or buildings as they floated behind me.

I understood her actions were passion driven and nothing was going to separate her and the boy she loved. It was not a long time before that, I had such a passion for which nothing could stand in my way of the woman I loved.

I disobeyed my parents, I ignored my friends, advice to me was dismissed, I was like a starving animal, willing to chew my own leg off to get to the women I loved. She was five years older then I at the time. I was sixteen she was twenty one. I was her poodle she was my Venus de Milo. It was an extraordinary love of great passion that ended abruptly.

The last night I saw her, I walked home, not able to look another  human in the eye, for fear I would fall to pieces. It was a long walk home. The sky was red with flame the sidewalks glare peppered my sight. The buildings never visible.

I realized I was used by the girl who invited me to the party.  I understood her love and the passion that drove her to it. I imagined their love, and in my small way, got them together for another night.