Disturbed and Mashed

I had a rather disturbed dream last night. It was powered by real life events. The details are not for the faint of heart. I will describe the dream after I describe real life events that fueled it. Do not read this if you are easily disturbed, I will not take responsibility for any dementia you may suffer.

My adopted brother was a handful during my formative years. I more or less took care of him from an early age. I was  around five years old, he was three months younger than I. We were left unattended and hunger was our companion. I remember two events that remain with me to this day. Raymond s**t himself, he was angry, hungry and vengeful. He took his s**t from his underwear and spread it up and down the basement staircase, where we were locked into.

In the other early memory we were not locked up, I may have picked the lock to which I probably received a severe beating, but can't recall. Raymond and I were extremely hungry, I found a bag of potatoes and some vegetable oil. We were going to make french fries! Thank God the oil didn't get hot enough to catch fire. The fries we made tasted like crap so I dumped the whole mess under the broken down car in the driveway.

Earlier this week my sister in law's common life husband, to which I don't give a s**t about, died of brain damage. He was a crack head, Listerine drinking, Pine Sol sniffing, native Canadian fucktard. Apparently, these people get to a point where they fall over, either forward or backward and smack their heads. Eventually the damage gets so severe they either die or require brain surgery. Well this f**k was in the hospital awaiting brain surgery, but died of complications before the surgery took place.

While this was going on my sister in law was no where to be found. She had the same addictions he did, so everyone assumed the worse. Did she try to kill him? Did he try to kill her? Did some one else try to kill them? My poor nephew, her son, looked in the freezer in case her body was in there. He removed anything of sentimental value from her house as he looked under and behind furniture for her dead body. I didn't know this was happening at the time or I would have stopped it.

Yesterday, as my other sister in law was trying to break the lock on the back shed, in case a body was in there, my missing sister in law shows up, delivered by Taxi, supported by a walker. She gave a bullshit excuse, didn't know and still doesn't know fucktard died.

Well, I guess my dream state goes into overdrive last night and premieres to me the most disturbing dream I have ever witnessed. Usually, I would wake up before such details present themselves, but no I remained in the dream despite my desire to escape. My subconscious is usually so pure that if I see a naked women in my dreams, as I try to touch her, my conscious awakens me like I am taking advantage of the young women. 

Not with this dream, the worse I felt, the worse the dream got, the harder it held me. Please do not read further if you are easily disturbed, because what I am about to share is really bizarre and morbid.

I was sitting at a table across from what started off as my brother. The setting was black and white. Standing to the front left of me was my father. The chairs were hard plastic with steel legs. The table was a monolithic slab of white marble. The walls were constructed of white alabaster. 

My brother was angry and crying and said he deserved to die. He started to hit his head against the hard wall. I pleaded with him to stop. He continued with increased fervor.  I was unable to move, so I asked my dad to stop him. My dad did nothing, he just stood there.

Soon my brother transformed into my brother in law. He hit his head so hard against the wall his head started to split open. I pleaded with my dad to stop it. He was paralyzed. After the heads brains were literally spilling out I was able to free myself from the chair and stop it.

I pushed my father aside, grabbed the body, cradled his lifeless head. The face was splattered with blood, top to bottom. The teeth were loose and rotten. His brains spilled over like eggs from a shell onto the floor. He was dead, I felt somehow it was my fault, but knew it wasn't.

Reviews

[Doreen]

Wow. That's quiet a story. Very engaging and emotional. There were a few syntax errors and punctuation could be tightened up a bit, but overall a compelling and interesting work. It often visits us in our dreams that which haunts us in our conscious. And I can only imagine the horror of the dream since a lot of the underlying feelings and undertones cannot be put down on paper - Kind of like a David Lynch film.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

What a nightmare. I believe that our dreams are a recipe of what we have lived and things we see and hear during our waking hours. Dreams fascinate me and it is amazing how the memory of some dreams stay with us forever. I personally have a terrible one about my mother that has never left my mind. You penned the account of this so very well.