The Fog

The Fog

A Chapter by HipsterPrincess17

 

       I can feel my heart beating in my chest.  My breathing is like a wild animal. 'Go go go!' My voices in my head tell me. I'm running for my life. My house is being attacked by Fog. It's not just your ordinary Fog. It's black as the devil's heart, and ten times more dangerous. They say once you touch it, it consumes your soul to make it more powerful. I run over to my older sister that's running as well. I'm on the edge giving up running for my life. What is the point anyway? I won't be safe. No one is.

   'Penney listen to me, you need to run as fast as you can' she breaths heavily' I don't care where you go as long as your safe, I love you' Ella says. 'I love you too Ella, but why won't you come with me' I beg her as we run, 'becau-' Her eyes widen 'what...what's wrong'. Is she hurt? I look around her, but the Fog is nowhere near 'Ella please use your words, help me out'. A tear rolls down her cheek 'Jake' she whispers.my baby brother. I left him upstairs while he was taking a nap. My feet and legs feel numb as we slow down. 'No' I whimper Jake is my brother, I promised mother I would take care of him.

   I hear a baby's cry. 'He's still alive!' I shout and wipe my tears. In a blink of an eye, Ella leaves to get him. 'ELLA?? WHERE ARE YOU' I shout worriedly. 'Jeez, your fast' I say. As the Fog gets closer to me, and I move over to the kitchen that has not been visited by the devil's soul. I close my eyes.  Ella and Jake are fine. Ella and Jake are fine. I repeat in my head over and over, but the hardest part is convincing myself. 'Penney' I hear someone yell. It's Ella, and she has Jake. He's safe. Tears of relief stream down my face. 'Your okay' I say I was worried'. 'Take care of Jake, and Penney....stay strong no matter what happens, mom would be proud of you. I love you both very very much.' She kisses his head. 'Mom would be proud of both of us, what's going on Ell' I ask. I wait for an answer, but I don't always get what I want. The only thing that she can get out of her mouth is,  'Run' before the Fog creeps up behind her 'ELLA' I scream. The baby. My baby brother is in the air. She threw him! Why in the world would she throw a baby!

   I barely catch him. His cry is ear-piercing, but Ella's is even louder. The worst  scream I have ever heard in my life. It's so high-pitched that it could shatter glass in less than a second. Then the scream turns into a horrid gurgling sound. I look over where Ella was. She's surrounded by the Fog. The fog forms a line and dives into her throat suffocating her.  'NO ELLA! NO LET HER GO, DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!!' I yell so hard my throat burns like hot ice. She's gone there's no trace of her anywhere. Jake's sobs are a horrid sound, I try to think of a way to calm him down. 'Shhhhh I'll keep you safe' I assure him in a crackly whisper.

   Everything is blurry. The only thing I can hear is a high-pitched noise. I run even faster than I was before. I'm out of the house. I keep running. Through the garden that my mother and I  grew lots of strawberry plants, because that's our favorite fruit. I run through the street and town I grew up at. The place where I learned to ride my bike, when life was normal, it wasn't perfect. But compared to now it was beyond perfect. I run through the woods. But something stops me when a tree root catches my foot and I fall tossing Jake into a pile of leaves so I don't squish him. Jake starts crying even louder 'great' I sarcastically complain. I get up and brush myself off. His cry gets louder and louder until I can't take it anymore. 'SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP' I yell! I go over and get him.

  I go to the willow tree I sit with my back against it. I hug Jake close, and All that I can manage to do is cry.

 

My sister is dead.

 

My father is missing.

 

My mother died giving birth to Jake.

 

He is the only family I have left.

  

'Oh Jake' I pause, 'what are we going to do?'

     



© 2015 HipsterPrincess17


Author's Note

HipsterPrincess17
New book!! Tell me what you think. Please leave kind reviews :) Thank You!

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Reviews

I love how you started it!
Very nice chapter!
Keep it up!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Well, this is certainly a compelling and scary chapter. The last line makes me wonder how she can go on and what's going to happen to her and Jake?

Posted 8 Years Ago


I love it! Can't wait for the next chapter :) xx

Posted 8 Years Ago


HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

Thank you Rosaline!

I'm kind of scared of making the next chapter because, I think .. read more
Rosaliine

8 Years Ago

You'll be fine. I'm sure the next chapter will be great :) x
HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

I hope so!

Thanks!
Good concept! I can see this turning lots of different ways! Can't wait to read more.

Posted 8 Years Ago


HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much, you have no clue how much that means to me!

Your friend
Li.. read more
MelissaAndres

8 Years Ago

You are very welcome!
This was great! Really action-packed and fast, which enforces the panic and danger. I can barely believe how fast you are improving as a writer, this is much better than your previous stories. You no longer write sentences that are too long, and place comma's where needed. Your grammar has also improved greatly.

You might want to read it over once again to check the placements of the apostrophes, as you sometimes forgot one. There was only one grammatical error that really caught my attention:

"I run over to my older sister that's running also."
I think you should replace "also" with "as well".

Posted 8 Years Ago


HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much!

I will edit that part, thanks for finding my mistake

.. read more
This is a topic that has been popular for a log time, I have read a number of books and seen a few motive that are about an ominous fog. So it is important to be original as much as you can so people aren't telling you how it reminds that of one of those. I also have a link you should check out, it is the best writing tool I have come across ever https://www.grammarly.com/1?affiliateID=1959&affiliateNetwork=ho

Posted 8 Years Ago


HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

Yeah... on my next chapter I am going to add a lot of new things into the story so its not like all .. read more
Love it! I can't wait for more! Keep writing, Lia.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

Thank you! :)
Kreative Kana

8 Years Ago

You're welcome, you deserve it!
I like it... no, wait I loved it! It flowed nicely and though I do like how you handled your dialouge and your enviroment though confusing at times it still felt unique to me atleast :)
Keep'em coming
With love,
Shadowkai

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

:) Thank you soooo much!

Getting all these nice reviews make me feel really confiden.. read more
Shadowkai

8 Years Ago

Good, all of you guys really helped me, so i want to help all of you in return :)
Reminded me of the movie "Fog".
Very dark and chilling, I liked it a lot!
Looking forward to reading more hey


Aphy

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

Awe...Thank you so much!

I have never seen the movie Fog or heard of it.

read more
Aphy!

8 Years Ago

It's like a horror sort of movie, it's really nice though
HipsterPrincess17

8 Years Ago

Oh okay! (:

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Added on October 21, 2015
Last Updated on December 3, 2015


Author

HipsterPrincess17
HipsterPrincess17

NAME: Lia Emily <3, FL



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Always wear your invisible crown. So stand up straight and don't let it fall. more..

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