Reduced

Im not sure why I named this Reduced. Perhaps someone might tell me...

I woke with a smile
My love came to me
for just a little while

But he couldn't stay
so without delay
he went away

 

As day progressed
something in my chest
 has never left

 

Fear you see
has taken me
and I'm not free

 

from its grip
the tide won't tip
it feels a bit

 

like love

Reviews

[Rusty]

So True that the passionate will to consume and be consumed by love, that which makes us feel breath and want to live... hides behind its back the very blade that we rush too, the one with a swift sweeping strike causes our life blood to spill upon the floor in front of us while we wither. Wait a minute it was your poem and compelled me to words!

[Kathrine]

I enjoyed this. I liked how it expresses that moment, when you realize you love someone, and how it can stir insecurities and fears. Love, such a pleasant emotion but it can be so complex.

Yes, true! true love can make insecure, as they stole a little of your ego, and walked away with it... lovely work, melting togetherness.

E.L.

[Whiskurz]

Wow very well written.......Whisk

[Rusty]

I just noticed your request for explanation... See below

[Liderien]

@ P.J. Baker thank you for pointing that out. I fixed it. and thank you all for the reviews

[Patrick]

the penultimate verse 'it's a feel a bit' - is that meant to read like that?

Anyway, the pithy and to-the-point nature of this work is great. Not sure about the reduced thing, maybe because you were reduced to these feelings....?

[Mauricio Montoya]

I like how you break this down to love............nice work

[Coyote Poetry]

"Like love" stand out in the poem. I like the way you led me into the desire and the very good ending to the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Distant horizons]

This is excellent. You're either suffering from love, or something just as fatal :-)
I know of this strange feeling, thoroughly contagious :-)