As the Pain Goes Away

As the Pain Goes Away

My hoodie comes off

I text my goodbyes

The sleeves wrap around my neck

Tighter and tighter

I tied it tight to make sure the job is done

The fair turns red then purple

The world is disappearing

Farewell here I go to the unknown

No wait I don’t want to go

No I’m not quite ready to die

Death stares me in the eye

Saying it's time to leave

Please! Please! It can’t be too late!

I just want to survive

Reviews

[Pete]

This is really good. Nice job.

[Richard]

this is a really good poem

[hanir]

"Death stares me in the eye
Saying it's time to leave
Please! Please! It can’t be too late!
I just want to survive"

I love the flow...its something I could really relate to. 😊
Nicely written!!!

[Nightfeather]

I wonder, when is the right time to die. What are the requirements of a beautiful dead, but dead means the opposite of life, for I don't seek dead but its opposite. You are creating your own illusion by saying that the world is disappearing, because in the end. Thy illusion is the mirror of a heart who wavers, but by saying that you just want to survive, one has broke the illusion. No longer bounded by the chains of the wavering heart, for thy heart is now embraced by thy long sought salvation.

Good job :D

[Emily]

I like it!
Nice story it tells!
Keep it up!!

[Rainslover]

These lines- they just give me so much of hope! You know it tells me keep struggling till your last breath!

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

That's the greatest mystery of life. Very nice lines!

[Echoes of Eros]

Life can be such a struggle; the fight to keep above water in the restless waves. Your words remind us that we need to always struggle to seek another day. May we all have someone to pull us up when we fall into these horrid, lonely places. xo

[jb]

Sounds like lots of suspense! Grew job :)...