Carpe Diem

A poem I wrote during one of my most trying, most frustrating times. I've finished editing it now.

It's time to let the world know
It's time to finally let it go
Time to forget your pain and sorrow,
And face what lies tomorrow.

I'm sure it hurts like hell

Your wounds all bleed as well

All the scars of yesterday

Open up, and you can't say

a thing

about

what's happening

So open your eyes and see like me,

Open your heart and let it be

For it's alright, it's finally over,

Someday we'll all get better

You hate it as much as I do now

But trust me later time will allow

All your wounds to be healed,

All your pains to go away

Someday you and I'll both see

Why there's nothing in this heart left to give

There will be time when you'll cry and say

There was nothing left in her heart to save.

To everyone, I'll just say,

I'm taking your pain away.

Hopefully you'll realize one day

All the reasons I couldn't have stayed.

So this poem bears my conscience

All the things I've kept in pretense

My fears and thoughts that bear

The things that my mind has kept

from all of you

and at times

myself.

As your cuts open up and bleed,

I'll touch your scars, smile and see,

All the things I'll let you know,

Everything neither of us could let go.

Look into my eyes and understand

What things go on in my mind

Not just the pain, but the memories,

Of childhood and all that is

Or, rather, was good in life,

All the things I wanted mine.

All that comes after these lines

Will only be stated a second time.

One day you'll wake and see

Why there was nothing in my heart to give.

You'll all stand to cry and say,

That there really was nothing left in my soul to save. 

Author's Note

Please give me a note or two on how I can possibly improve my writing. Tell me where I got it wrong, and what you think of it. Flame, Hate, Appreciate--but please let me know :)

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

This is a nice piece. But as you noted, I'm only giving you my insight on this line : "Open your heart and let it bleed"----The concept of first 8th line of the 4th stanza is optimism, except that line. Perhaps it could be better if you change the last word (bleed) like (Open your heart and let it be) which sounds freedom.

"So open your eyes and see like me,
Open your heart and let it be
For it's alright, it's finally over,
Someday we'll all get better
You hate it as much as I do now
But trust me later time will allow
All your wounds to be healed,
All your pains to go away"

Hope this would help. But it's up to you if you will consider it. You are still the "driver of your own car". Nice to read your work here. Keep on writing :)

[Cordelia]

Thank you for that :) I've really, really been confused... and half asleep while I was writing this. I don't know what I was thinking. I'll edit this after I eat something. Hahahaha!