LIVING NIGHTMARE

It hurt. I couldn’t breath. I was sore all over, but still my legs kept at it. Kept moving, kept running. I was bare-footed. And I felt all the little cuts on my feet throb and sting whenever they touched the hard-stoned pavement. Wasn’t I sleeping in my bed? If so this should have been a dream. But then why did my feet hurt? I shouldn’t be feeling anything. At least not so much. I felt my nose running and swiped at it with my bare arm. Bare? I glanced down at my body. I was naked. Why was I naked? If this was my dream I wouldn’t be naked, would I? No, don’t think, don’t slow down. Keep running, keep running. Fear was rushing through my veins. My body was controlled by it. I heard something scuttle behind me. Made myself believe it was my imagination. Heard it again. And again and again. Heard it multiply. What the f**k was that? I foolishly turned around to look. Human curiosity really equals to human stupidity. I should have kept running, without slowing down to look at the source of the noise. But I did. I did, and then stopped running. I screamed. A huge amount of spiders was running to me. There were so many that they seemed jumbled together. A huge black mass of moving things came at me. I screamed and screamed. My mind trying to protect itself by thinking they couldn’t be spiders. No house could have this condensation of these sickening black things. No house could. I wanted to run, but fear had planted my feet in place. And still I screamed. And cried out in panic. I felt my throat raw for all my screaming. And still they got closer and closer, and no one came at my rescue. Fear made my knees weak. So weak I collapsed on them. My body weight too much for them. I scuttled backwards until my back touched cold and hard stone. But they kept following me. Encircling me. I screamed again thinking they would crawl all over me. Already anticipating the sickening feeling of their little legs on me. Spiders were my greater fear since I had been five. When I had been abducted and thrown in a well that spiders had made their home. I had been there for a week. A week without water nor food nor light. A week with spiders crawling around me and all over me. It had been a living nightmare. Very much like the one at present. I hugged my knees tight against my body and put my head on them. Making a tight ball of myself, the same way I had done when I was little. Sobs kept shaking me, but slowly they died down. My mind was detaching itself from my surroundings. Like in the past. Slowly my consciousness faded away. What remained was my empty body. I still felt my body movements, but I couldn’t feel whatever it felt. It was like it wasn’t mine. A nice trick I learned in that terrible experience. I felt my body bring my head up to look at the blackness surrounding me. I looked through my eyes. They had stopped moving. Short of touching me. And it confused me. Why would they chase me only to stop when I was within their reach? A movement caught my eyes. Something moved through the blackness. A dark figure. As he, cuz it was undoubtedly a he, passed through the spiders moved away. Making a path for him. He stopped in front of me. His leather boots a mere feet away from my toes. I looked up at him. And wished I hadn’t. Fear crept up inside of me once again. No no no, please no. I don’t wanna feel, I don’t wanna feel. Not again, not another time. He smiled. His lips curving evilly. I had spoken aloud without realising it. Tears flowed down my cheek. Searing them. He crouched down as to meet my eyes with his, if eyes they could be called. There was no white. Just a black slit. It was like two onyx stones had been inserted where the eyes should have been. They were frightening. I whimpered. I didn’t want him anywhere near me. He wore all black. A black scarf covered his head leaving only his eyes and mouth uncovered. A black cape covered his whole body so that only his boots were visible. He reached out a gloved hand and I pushed my back harder against the wall. Pushed so hard I felt the stone bruise my skin. But it didn’t matter. Nothing was more important than not letting him touch me. He smiled again amused and I squeezed my eyes shut believing that if I couldn’t see than it wouldn’t happen. But it happened, he pressed his gloved hand on my cheek. And I flinched in surprise. It was warm. I would have expected it to be freezing cold. But it was scalding warm. Warmer than normal even. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at him. He wasn’t smiling, not anymore. He was concentrating on something. Though I didn’t know nor understand what. There was nothing here. Nothing but me, him and that skittering black mass. He closed his eyes and I tried to move my head away from his touch, but he just brought up his other hand. Enclosing my head in his big warm hands. I had stopped crying when he touched me, surprised he still hadn’t hurt me. I began relaxing. His hands were so warm and comforting, and I was so cold. His warmth seemed to seep through my skin and warm my whole body from inside. I closed my eyes relaxing in his warmth. But suddenly a searing pain cut my insides. I screamed and tried to move but his hands kept me where I was. And the pain went on and on  as if something was cutting me from inside. If I still doubted this was a dream or not, I had my answer. Nothing but reality could hurt so much. I kept screaming and trying to get away from him. I didn’t know why but I just knew he was the one causing me pain. I kicked at him and tried to scratch him to make him let go, but he was too strong. Nothing I did made him waver. He kept his ands on my face. Kept the churning going inside of me. And as suddenly it had come, it stopped. He moved his hands away and I slumped forward. My forehead against his chest. I was so tired I just couldn’t move away. I would have if I had the force to do so. But not a single muscle of my body listened to my mind’s command. I felt him move me to my side so that I was leaning against him. He covered me with his cape, an arm around my waist, while his other hand reached down. He brought something glittering up. He moved it in front of me so that I could see it. It was a ring. Gold with a black stone in the middle. The stone looked the same as his eyes. I looked up at him. He was watching my face expressionless. I looked at the ring again. Not knowing what he wanted from me. When in doubt, ask.

«W-what?» I croaked.

A long minute passed before he finally answered.

«Why do you have this ring?» his voice was like the darkness, cold and merciless. I shivered and then shook my head. I didn’t know what he meant. I didn’t even know I had a ring until it came out! Wait…came out?? From me?? I looked at him horrified.

«I-it was inside of me??»

He nodded. I looked at him open-mouthed. How could a ring be inside a person?? And how the hell did he take it out? I looked down at my stomach where the pain had been. But there was no hole or cut or whatever. I looked at him again.

«I see. You didn’t know about it then?» I shook my head with force.

«What is it?» I asked in a whisper. He looked at me without answering. The silence stretched so long that I thought he wouldn’t answer.

«It is the symbol of my kingship. Without it I have no way to fully control my subjects. And it was stolen to me fifteen years ago. I searched for it so long that I thought it was gone. But it came back. With you.»

«I-I didn’t steal it! I swear! I didn’t know it was in me! Believe me! Don’t hurt me!» I cowered as much as I could. If what he said was true, than that ring’s worth wasn’t estimable. And if he thought I was the thief who had stolen it, then I was dead. For sure.

He went still. He was still breathing, I felt his chest move with his every breath, but still he didn’t speak. I glanced at him. He was looking at me with a strange expression. His arm tightened around my waist.

«I know you didn’t intend to steal it, or you’d be dead already. There is a prophecy in my kingdom:

When a true queen will come forth

Thy lowly ring will go see her worth

If stolen by her should I be

Then surely a good queen she will be

Protect her shall I do

Until time comes for her to go to you

So be patient my dear king

Soon she’ll come to be your queen

So you see, you did steal my ring. So you could become my worthy queen.»

I looked at him speechless and he smiled down at me removing his scarf. I looked at him awed. Hardly believing how I could have thought of him as terrifying or alien. He was beautiful. He was a worthy king. And he was mine. I felt it deeply in me. He was mine as I was his. He was the one I had been born for. And I could see our connection bring us close and closer. We were fated to be one. We were staring in each others eyes. No words needed. It was all there. Slowly he brought down his face to mine. Our lips were inches apart and his strange eyes seemed to ask permission. I closed my normal ones and put my lips to his. We kissed. Slowly and tenderly at first but passion took over fast. He nibbled and sucked. His breath mingling with mine. His tongue slipped past my lips and brushed mine. More, I wanted, needed more. It wasn’t enough. I wanted to be closer still. I felt his glowed hand brush my breast and I moaned in his mouth. I wanted skin on skin. I stopped the kiss and took his hand, taking off his glove. His hand was even warmer than when gloved. I brought it to my cheek and closed my eyes, absorbing his warmth. He cupped my face and kissed me gently.

«My queen» he whispered against my lips reverently.

I nodded and smiled. This was where I belonged. In the arms of this man. In this world of darkness where my worst nightmare had become my heaven.