I Tell Myself I Hate You

not my favorite and definitely not my best.

I tell myself I hate you,
I say it's all a lie.
I tell myself you hate me back,
but I see the truth in your eyes.
I've lost myself in worry,
I've lost myself in doubt.
How could I love you this much?

...just let myself break and drown and thrash about.

I try my best to hate you,
I tell my heart the lies.
I'm convinced it cannot be;
that you've loved this disguise...

...and never truly me.

My heart is full of broken glass,
my heart is full of lead.
Sometimes it gets so heavy
it takes a toll inside my head.

I tell myself I hate you,
I say it's all a lie.
I tell myself you hate me back,
but the truth's still in your eyes.
I tell myself I hate you,
but I'm just scared to say,
That I'll love you till forever;
Ever and always.

Author's Note

I don't know how to make this better...

Reviews

[Raymond]

I liked it. It's been a long time since Ive been where this poem takes you...and I'm never going back. I cant offer how to improve it, but I tell you what I sort of expected (but Im no expert). "I tell myself I hate you"....then "I try my best to hate you"....I didnt expect to come back to "I tell myself" again. You probably did exactly what you meant ot do, but I thought it was going somewhere else. But again, I liked it.