Enter Anger and Load

Enter Anger and Load

 

Changing everything that they were taught

Alcohol and fire and ones and noughts

-Rebel code, Chumbawamba

 

Boz entered the Strip Club and let out a deep sigh, he was at home at long last, or at least the closest place he had to a home. He had spent all day doing up an old motor driven car for some rich stupid Gangsta.

            It was just getting dark, Boz knew things were about to get interesting, they always did in this area of town on a Saturday night.

            The first thing he noticed when he entered the club, was that the fact that Sudds the guy who owned the place was nowhere to be seen, which was unusual these days. On the old pool table, their were a couple of spaced out Flatliners using it as a bed; that somehow comforted Boz, as he remembered all the days he had done exactly the same.

            Coming from the direction of the car was the sickly, clingy smell of the new Cyber Cider all the Gothiks were drinking these days, Two pints would just about kill you if you didn’t have the right Cyber enhancements.

            Sat at the bar, huddled under a tattered all trench coat, was a Technophile. Who went by the name of Nitro, he was old school, so just about excepted by the local Anarchists, but Nitro generally didn’t come into the club, especially on a Saturday night.

            Not acknowledging Nitro’s existence, Boz watches him in the grubby mirror behind the optics; for a moment he is caught of guard by the fresh scar on his own face and scowls at the thought of the cop who had put it their the night before.

            Still ignoring Nitro, Boz was secretly impressed with the fact that the Technophile still hadn’t broken his impression of not being s**t scared. So Boz, simply sat down on what he knew to be the comfiest bar stool, took for his leather jacket and used it to wipe the motor oil of his newly stolen combat boots.

            Without a word the barman passes Boz his whiskey, who in turn swiftly downs it and motions for a refill. Nitro finally cracks and gives Boz a desperate glance and motions towards the floor. At his feet was a red piece of paper.

            The Anarchist knows he can’t ignore this warning and the implications, knowing them all too well, ‘not again, not this soon…’ Boz thought wanting to hit something.

            Just at the moment Anger walks in, with the owner Sudds right behind him. Anger swears at the junkies on the pool table and strides over to the bar.

            Unfortunately for Nitro, Anger’s name was not ironic and he didn’t like technogeeks.

            “Boz mate what are you doing with this piece of Scum…”

            “Just shut it, he’s on OUR side…” Boz snapped back and then whispered not wanting to hear the next word’s himself, “there has been a grade A security breach…”

            Anger quickly cut short his retort and Boz uneasily watched a myriad of emotions wash over his comrades face, but both of them were completely unprepared for what was about to happen next…

             

            

Reviews

[Steppin' Razor]

This left me wanting more, in a good way.

You have a little too much going which strikes me as a William Gibson imitation with the overall scene being more something out of John Shirley's "A Song Called Youth."

This isn't a bad thing, everyone develops their voice, style, and story ideas through imitation.

Hell, I sounded like a cheap Gibson knock off when I first started up, and when I recently restarted writing, I found and still find myself sounding like a mix of a couple cyberpunk authors.

My advice is cut back on the complicated descriptions of things that are unimportant and amp up the details on things that are.

This scene could definitely be beefed up to pack a punch.

Good job,
Connor Nickerson