What She Needed

What She Needed

A Poem by k.s.

He was fire

In her veins,

Igniting her soul

Into an uncontrollable fire.

He was the devil

Picking at the harp strings

Of her angelic heart

Making her speak

Music into his ear.

He was the desire

That kept her up

At the dead of night

wanting more of

This drug

He is filling her with.


© 2017 k.s.


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I can just feel the toxicity oozing from this poem. I can just imagine the venomous boy described.
Chills.
I liked the description in this poem! I found it very creative! I loved the line 'He was fire, in her veins'. I don't know why, but this line resonated with me. I kept thinking about the fire in her veins like an unstoppable fever, a sickness within her.
One line I would change was 'Into an uncontrollable fire'. As the first line ends in 'fire' it was just a tad jarring and the word 'uncontrollable' didn't really mesh with otherwise vivid description (in my opinion). I would recommend changing it to 'With a lawless flame' so that it would read:
He was fire
In her veins
Igniting her soul
With a lawless flame
It's just a suggestion and you don't need to change if you don't wish to.
Overall, I think, a very good poem.
Well done :)
- Monatora

Posted 6 Years Ago



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Added on September 25, 2017
Last Updated on September 25, 2017
Tags: love, poetry, passion, addiction

Author

k.s.
k.s.

TX



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