Not the Same

This is about abuse that causes someone to loose control

I'm sitting in the pitch black, ALONE

In a race, the earth zooms past me like nothing happened

Even though I'm crazy, they say

I know it's real

Because just like a SLUG

It leaves my horrid past as its trail

I start shaking slightly

I start to rock back and fourth

Like if I was back in my grandmas rocking chair, at her log cabin

continuing the pattern that was created

I loose control of my emotions

Slapped in my face

The flash backs of the devil striking me

Replays over and over again

Like the broken record that sits with the same song repeating

But it's the only company the record has

I being so small and helpless

Could only hold the white flag claiming I surrender

When I really know that the war has just begun

But my white flag don't mean s**t it the devils hard cold ice

That replaces where the heart should have been

All the memories, getting sucked back into a time warp

Brought me back to reality

Wait never mind

My shot that was shooting up my veins within seconds, was my time warp

That brought me back, just like a falling tree

 Into what is now my new home, called a mental institution

And soon I will be right back where I belong

In my chair facing the window

That presents the world that died a long time ago

The world that I will never see nor feel again

The world that I will never live in, EVER